Advice for My Daughter

Tag: growth

  • Spring Does Not Arrive Easily, But It Always Arrives

    Spring Does Not Arrive Easily, But It Always Arrives

    Two weeks ago, I was playing outside with my daughter in the 70 degree weather.

    Last week, we watched the snow fall.

    And today, we listened to birds and chased ladybugs.

    Spring does not arrive easily. It introduces itself in fits and spurts. It bravely says hello and then runs away to hide in the shadows for a bit longer.

    We all know that it will eventually arrive, but why does it have to be so fickle?

    We want to wake up on the first day of spring and dance around the yard like Snow White. We don’t want storm clouds or snow or bitter, bitter cold. But spring arrives on it’s own schedule. Many of the best things in life do.

    It arrives when it is ready to arrive…and even then, it still may regress.

    When my daughter asked me why spring was so crazy, I explained to her that in life, things often get better, then worse, then better, then worse. But eventually…one day…they stick.

    Spring will take off its shoes and get comfortable. It will settle in for a nice long stay. The birds will build their nests, just like they do every year. The dull grass will paint itself green. The rabbits will quickly say hello before running off to destroy your garden.

    It will happen. It will. But it could be bumpy for a little while, just like life.

    One day we feel like we have our finances under control, and then a big medical bill arrives.

    One day we feel like our marriage is so, so good, and then life happens and we start finding fault with everything from how the clothes are folded to the condition of the junk drawer.

    One day we work out for sixty minutes feel like Wonder Woman and the next we are looking at the clock before the warmup is even over.

    We progress. Then we regress.

    It’s the rhythm of life. Two steps forward. One step back.

    But spring will come. It always does. Go ahead and paint your toenails now. The storm is just about over.

    It’s time to celebrate the silly season.

     

    Photo by
    Allef Vinicius

  • Do Something Small Today

    Do Something Small Today

    Imagine waking up in the morning and deciding that today is the day you will change the world…or change your life…or flip the script that you’ve been following.

    You can.

    You can start right now, but it might not look as impressive as waking up at 7:00am and by 10:00pm life has changed dramatically. That’s not how big change happens.

    Big change starts by waking up 30 minutes earlier to work on your passion project.

    Big change starts by choosing not to gossip anymore.

    Big change starts with small change.

    The best way to do something big tomorrow is to do something small today. Then do something small tomorrow. Then do something small the next day.

     

    The goal isn’t to be perfect. The goal is to be better today than you were yesterday.

    In her wonderful book, “The Gifts of Imperfection,” Brene Brown says, “Perfectionism is not self-improvement. Perfectionism is, at its core, about trying to earn approval and acceptance.”

    Don’t shoot for perfect. Shoot for better. Everyone can do better. Doing better every day can lead to extraordinary change.

    As an example, if I gave you the choice of accepting a check for $1 million dollars today or taking a penny on day one and I would double it every day, the better option is to take the penny and watch it double over and over. At the end of 30 days, you would have $5,368,709.12.

    Day 1: $.01

    Day 2: $.02

    Day 3: $.04

    Day 4: $.08

    Day 5: $.16

    Day 6: .32

    Day 7: $.64

    Day 8: $1.28

    Day 9: $2.56

    Day 10: $5.12

    Day 11: $10.24

    Day 12: $20.48

    Day 13: $40.96

    Day 14: $81.92

    Day 15: $163.84

    Day 16: $327.68

    Day 17: $655.36

    Day 18: $1,310.72

    Day 19: $2,621.44

    Day 20: $5,242.88

    Day 21: $10,485.76

    Day 22: $20,971.52

    Day 23: $41,943.04

    Day 24: $83,886.08

    Day 25: $167,772.16

    Day 26: $335,544.32

    Day 27: $671,088.64

    Day 28: $1,342,177.28

    Day 29: $2,684,354.56

    Day 30: $5,368,709.12

    That’s what happens when small change begins compounding. You may not be able to bench press 125 pounds on day one, but if you start low and increase the weight a little bit every day, you will get to the point where lifting 150 pounds will be easy for you.

    It’s not going to happen tomorrow, but the process of getting there can absolutely start the minute you do you first bench press.

    A book begins with a chapter. A chapter begins with a sentence. A sentence begins with a word.

    No book is ever written without that first word.

    “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.” —Aristotle

     

    Don’t set your sights on being something. Instead, set a goal to DO something. The being always comes after the doing.

    Read one chapter a day.

    Run one block a day.

    Eat one good meal a day.

    Drink one extra glass of water a day.

    Do one small thing today. Then do another tomorrow. Then do another the next day.

    Then watch your small changes turn into the big change you desire.

    Image by:

    Eric Ward

    Note: My website may contain affiliate marketing links, which means I may get paid commission on sales of those products or services I write about. My editorial content is not influenced by advertisers or affiliate partnerships. This disclosure is provided in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR § 255.5: Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

  • 6 Reasons to Celebrate Failure

    6 Reasons to Celebrate Failure

    Failure gets a bad rap. It’s the opposite of success, right? You either win or lose. It’s black or white.

    Not around here. We celebrate failure. This is why:

    Failure means that you tried something new

    If you are always doing things that you are great at, chances are you are not trying new things. You don’t jump on a bike and ride around the block right away. You fall down a few times (maybe more than a few times). Doing new things can be both scary and exciting. Try them anyway. You may find something that you hate or something that becomes a lifelong passion. Either way, try new things.

    Failure teaches you what you are doing wrong

    Mistakes provide you with information that leads you along a path to solve problems. If you are trying to write code, you try something, look a the website and see if what you did worked or if it didn’t. Each time you try something that doesn’t work, you have eliminated an option. You are getting closer to success. There is a great quote from Thomas Edison where he says, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” Finding what doesn’t work gets you one step closer to what does.

    Failure breeds success

    People who fail are among the most successful. Why? Because failure makes you better. Successful people tend to have far more failures than successes, but we pay attention to the things they succeed at.

    “I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” – Michael Jordan.

    Take the shot. The thrill of succeeding far outshines the pain of the failures.

    Failure is a reality check

    It feels awful to fail at something. It’s frustrating and possibly even embarrassing. But it keeps us human and is a reminder that we are not better than anyone else. Everyone fails. Everyone. Failing teaches us that we are imperfect. All of us.

    Failure gives you focus

    There are an unlimited number of things that you can do in life. Imagine if you were exceptional at every single one of them. How would you choose? Failure helps us to eliminate the things that we are weaker at so that we can gift the world with our true talents. Find the things that you excel at and grow those abilities.

    Failure breeds community

    Since we are not great at everything, we are reliant upon the gifts of others to help us get through life. My lack of sewing skills provides the income for someone who is gifted in sewing. My weaknesses are someone else’s strengths. Together, we can be great at everything. Find people that you can gift your talents to and allow them to fill in for your weaknesses.

    Yes. In our home we celebrate failure. We get excited when you fall off your bike or decide that you don’t like soccer. Every time you fail, you are learning something about yourself and self discovery is definitely worth celebrating!

     

    Image by Tomasz Stasiuk