Advice for My Daughter

Tag: aging

  • If You Live Long Enough, Your Hair Begins to Sparkle

    If You Live Long Enough, Your Hair Begins to Sparkle

    A while back, I watched this video by 31 year old food blogger, Rachel Farnsworth, who was called an “old-hag” by a reader who thought she should color her gray hair. If you watch the video, you will learn that Rachel has an autoimmune disorder and is uncertain if she will live to see her 70th birthday. To her, every sign of aging is a reminder that she is still alive.

    Aging is a gift.

    Wrinkles are the results of a life filled with smiles and concern.

    Age spots can bring back memories of that time you forgot your sunscreen, but had a great time hanging out at the pool with your friends.

    The ache in your knee is a reminder of all the miles you’ve walked and all the adventures you’ve had.

    These are your battle scars.

    You’ve experienced health issues. And you survived.

    You’ve had your heart broken. And you survived.

    You’ve hit rock bottom and then learned that the bottom was even farther. And you survived.

    But as your skin gets less bouncy and your bones get a little creaky, your hair does something completely different.

    Your hair begins to…sparkle!

    It takes over a billion years to create a diamond, but it only takes a few decades for a human to begin to shine.

    Sure, you can cover it up, color it, or pull it back, but underneath it all, it’s still there.

    Nobody is guaranteed a long life and every sign of aging is a reminder that we are, in fact, still alive.

    We wrinkle. We spot. We creak.

    And we sparkle. Oh…do we sparkle!

    Photo credit:
    Lotte Meijer

  • How to Treat the Elderly

    How to Treat the Elderly

    As far as the earth goes, you are brand-spanking new. Your skin is tight and shiny. Your teeth are flawless. Your energy is boundless.

    And you will believe, for a very long time, that you will always be this way.

    Until you aren’t.

    It may start when your weight starts creeping up on you. Or maybe it will be the moment that the doctor tells you that you need reading glasses. Maybe a tooth will crack while you are eating popcorn.

    I don’t know how it will happen. But it will.

    And it will be both shocking and terrifying.

    Realizing that you won’t be 22 forever is a surprise, even though you innately know that you can’t be.

     

    Realizing that you won’t be 22 forever is a surprise, even though you innately know that you can’t be. (tweet this)

     

    You will get older.

    Your skin will get dull spots where there once was a glistening tan.
    Your teeth may be made of porcelain, not bone.
    Your hearing might miss some of the quieter conversations at the dinner table.

    Bodies wear down after a life well lived.

    Remember this when you are stuck behind a woman walking slowly in front of you when you are trying to run through the airport.

    Remember this when you notice an older person sitting alone at a family gathering.

    They can’t believe this is happening to them. They didn’t really understand that one day, they would be the old person in the room that people find inconvenient.

    They used to be young, vibrant, powerful, helpful. Now they feel their independence slipping slowly away.

    It’s frustrating…and sometimes humiliating. This wasn’t how they used to be.

    Try to look past the faded skin and tired eyes to see their heart and their mind. Talk to them. Connect with them. Understand them.

    Because they are just like you.

    And one day…far, far away…you will be just like them.

     

    Image by Marjan Lazarevski

  • A Letter To My Daughter As An Old Woman

    A Letter To My Daughter As An Old Woman

    I had a thought yesterday that made me very sad.

    I’ll never know you as an old woman.

    My job as a mother is not to teach you to be an amazing kid, but to teach you to be an extraordinary adult. I want to guide you so that when you are an old woman, you will look back on your life and feel that it was well lived.

    These are the things I wish for you when you become an old woman:

    When your hair turns silver and your skin turns a bit sallow, I hope that your eyes shine as brightly as they do today.(tweet this)

    I hope your happy memories outweigh your worries.

    I hope you dance…even if it’s slowly.

    I hope the world is good and that kind people surround you.

    I hope you have a companion, be it a partner, a child or a friend.

    I hope the mistakes you’ve made in life have been long forgotten and the bright spots sparkle.

    I hope you found a unicorn.

    I hope you celebrated every birthday with those that you love.

    I hope you travelled and laughed and sang at the top of your lungs.

    I hope you did work that you loved, that you helped people and that you prayed daily.

    I hope you aren’t in too much pain.

    I hope you let your kids stay up late so that you could snuggle under the covers and tell each other secrets. I hope you have grandchildren and that they talk…constantly.

    As the years pass, my greatest wish is that I taught you well. That you were able to fight when you needed to and give in when you wanted to. That you helped others and were kind to yourself.

    I hope you shine.

    I know you’ll shine.

    And I hope. I really, really hope….that I taught you well.

     

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    A Letter Top Image

     

     

     

     

     

     

    Image by Tim Hamilton