Advice for My Daughter

Tag: acceptance

  • If You Live Long Enough, Your Hair Begins to Sparkle

    If You Live Long Enough, Your Hair Begins to Sparkle

    A while back, I watched this video by 31 year old food blogger, Rachel Farnsworth, who was called an “old-hag” by a reader who thought she should color her gray hair. If you watch the video, you will learn that Rachel has an autoimmune disorder and is uncertain if she will live to see her 70th birthday. To her, every sign of aging is a reminder that she is still alive.

    Aging is a gift.

    Wrinkles are the results of a life filled with smiles and concern.

    Age spots can bring back memories of that time you forgot your sunscreen, but had a great time hanging out at the pool with your friends.

    The ache in your knee is a reminder of all the miles you’ve walked and all the adventures you’ve had.

    These are your battle scars.

    You’ve experienced health issues. And you survived.

    You’ve had your heart broken. And you survived.

    You’ve hit rock bottom and then learned that the bottom was even farther. And you survived.

    But as your skin gets less bouncy and your bones get a little creaky, your hair does something completely different.

    Your hair begins to…sparkle!

    It takes over a billion years to create a diamond, but it only takes a few decades for a human to begin to shine.

    Sure, you can cover it up, color it, or pull it back, but underneath it all, it’s still there.

    Nobody is guaranteed a long life and every sign of aging is a reminder that we are, in fact, still alive.

    We wrinkle. We spot. We creak.

    And we sparkle. Oh…do we sparkle!

    Photo credit:
    Lotte Meijer

  • There is No Perfect. Seriously. There Isn’t.

    There is No Perfect. Seriously. There Isn’t.

    One quick Google search and you can see that there is a bit of an obsession around being perfect.

    It’s a lofty goal.

    It’s also absurd.

    Because there is no perfect. And even if there was, it’s like choosing plastic utensils over antique silver.

    Perfection is an ideal, but it isn’t a reality. It’s much healthier to remove the word “perfect” entirely and replace it with powerful, obtainable goals.

    Instead of a perfect body, work towards a healthy body.

    Instead of a perfect job, find a challenging job where you can grow.

    Instead of seeking out perfect friends, find some super loyal ones.

    The Japanese tradition of wabi-sabi focuses on an acceptance of imperfection and finding beauty within that imperfection.

    Wabi-sabi is the wood floors in your living room with scratches on them from your much loved dog. It’s the wrinkles on your grandmother’s face from years of smiling. It’s the random flower sprouting in a field of weeds. It’s the scar on your leg from the surgery that saved your life.

    Stories are found in the imperfections. A glossy magazine will never hold a candle to a well-worn book. A new pair of jeans will never feel as good as the faded pair with the frayed hem.

    Perfection is a mirage. We tell ourselves that it exists, but it really doesn’t. And even if it did, it would be hugely overrated.

    Embrace your crooked smile, your almost perfect test score and your chipped windshield.

    Devour your slightly burnt omelette.

    Frame your “not even close to Monet” artwork.

    Throw on some sandals and let your crooked toes free.

    You are unique.

    You are one of a kind.

    And you are a million times better than perfect.