The Deal All Mothers Make

When you become a mother, you agree to a deal. We all do it, because it seems completely reasonable at the time, but like all contracts, the fine print doesn’t become clear until years later. It reads something like this:

“I accept the gift of this child. I understand that they will only be little for a very short time. I will do my best to live in the moment because time will pass more quickly than I anticipate.”

We all agree to it. That’s the deal. But we didn’t realize that being a mother means that days slow down and years speed up. So, we get caught up in the days. We change diapers. We wake up for feedings. We do laundry. And all of a sudden, we are tying their shoes on the first day of school.

And we tell ourselves that we still have plenty of time.

So we help with homework, take them to soccer, and buy them new shoes for the first day of middle school.

And we tell ourselves that we still have plenty of time.

So we help them get their drivers license, watch their heart get broken and let them order new shoes for prom.

And we ask ourselves how they grew up so fast.

It’s the deal that we made 18 years ago. We were told that we would have them for a very short time. But it all happened so fast.

Their shoes are bigger than ours. They are going on dates. They know more about technology than we do. And we don’t understand how we let it slip away.

But there is fine print with this agreement. Every year, on the second Sunday in May, we are reminded of the passing years when we celebrate Mother’s Day shortly before summer vacation. It’s a reminder not to let another summer pass us by.

Go for walks.

Stay up late listening to the crickets and looking at the stars.

Ride a horse.

Go swimming.

Eat watermelon.

Have a water balloon fight.

Chase the ice cream truck.

Share secrets.

Laugh.

Hug.

Be present…in this moment…right now.

The average lifespan is 79 years. One quarter of those were spent with our parents. Another quarter we get to spend with our children before we hear the crackle of their wings spreading wide.

The deal was made. The contract is final. We only get to have them little for a short period of time. They will never be little again.

Let this Mother’s Day be a reminder to put down the phone, turn off the tv and to listen instead of talk, because the years are only going to go faster. Soon, there will be no more shoes lying in the middle of the kitchen. The house will feel quiet. The car will drive away from the place they once called home.

These years are precious. Be present. Make memories. You can keep the memories forever.

One day I realized that I would never know my daughter as an old woman, so I wrote this letter to her that you may also enjoy. It’s also available as a downloadable printable, perfect for Mother’s Day. Happy Mother’s Day!