Advice for My Daughter

Category: Success

  • 6 Reasons to Celebrate Failure

    6 Reasons to Celebrate Failure

    Failure gets a bad rap. It’s the opposite of success, right? You either win or lose. It’s black or white.

    Not around here. We celebrate failure. This is why:

    Failure means that you tried something new

    If you are always doing things that you are great at, chances are you are not trying new things. You don’t jump on a bike and ride around the block right away. You fall down a few times (maybe more than a few times). Doing new things can be both scary and exciting. Try them anyway. You may find something that you hate or something that becomes a lifelong passion. Either way, try new things.

    Failure teaches you what you are doing wrong

    Mistakes provide you with information that leads you along a path to solve problems. If you are trying to write code, you try something, look a the website and see if what you did worked or if it didn’t. Each time you try something that doesn’t work, you have eliminated an option. You are getting closer to success. There is a great quote from Thomas Edison where he says, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” Finding what doesn’t work gets you one step closer to what does.

    Failure breeds success

    People who fail are among the most successful. Why? Because failure makes you better. Successful people tend to have far more failures than successes, but we pay attention to the things they succeed at.

    “I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” – Michael Jordan.

    Take the shot. The thrill of succeeding far outshines the pain of the failures.

    Failure is a reality check

    It feels awful to fail at something. It’s frustrating and possibly even embarrassing. But it keeps us human and is a reminder that we are not better than anyone else. Everyone fails. Everyone. Failing teaches us that we are imperfect. All of us.

    Failure gives you focus

    There are an unlimited number of things that you can do in life. Imagine if you were exceptional at every single one of them. How would you choose? Failure helps us to eliminate the things that we are weaker at so that we can gift the world with our true talents. Find the things that you excel at and grow those abilities.

    Failure breeds community

    Since we are not great at everything, we are reliant upon the gifts of others to help us get through life. My lack of sewing skills provides the income for someone who is gifted in sewing. My weaknesses are someone else’s strengths. Together, we can be great at everything. Find people that you can gift your talents to and allow them to fill in for your weaknesses.

    Yes. In our home we celebrate failure. We get excited when you fall off your bike or decide that you don’t like soccer. Every time you fail, you are learning something about yourself and self discovery is definitely worth celebrating!

     

    Image by Tomasz Stasiuk

  • Do What You Love

    Do What You Love

    Tonight, while you were at Rock School, I sat in the lobby and read. But, since it’s a music school, I get the chance to watch kids come and go with their violins, drumsticks and guitars.

    I love it.

    I grew up playing music and listening to music.

    As and adult, I worked in the music business.

    And as a mom, I get to watch you sing, dance and learn to play instruments.

    But tonight, it wasn’t the students that inspired me. It was a teacher. Specifically, the drum teacher.

    I watched a high school girl step into the tiny lesson room where she was taking drum lessons. From where I was sitting, I couldn’t see the student, only the teacher. And he was BEAMING.

    I couldn’t stop looking at how much fun he was having. His jeans were faded, his hair was long and his eyes were shining.

    This is a guy who LOVES what he’s doing. He is teaching kids to love what he loves.

    And that’s what I wish for you.

    I hope that as you go through life, you do things that bring you joy.

    They may make you money. They may not.

    Do them anyway.

    You were born with a unique mixture of gifts and talents that can only be found in you. Discover them. Journal about them. Practice them. Grow them. Share them. Change your world with them.

    Find your spark. Give some room to breathe. And watch it turn it into a wildfire.

     

    Image by Chaval Brasil

  • Work Hard Regardless of What You Are Being Paid

    Work Hard Regardless of What You Are Being Paid

     

    Working is part of life. Whether you are a stay-at-home mom, the owner of start-up, a store clerk, a CEO, or a volunteer…work hard.

    It’s called a work “ethic” because it’s value based. You work hard…at every job…every time…because it’s who you are.

    I was working at a large bookstore chain and was always surprised when I would come in and some of my co-workers had left stacks of books for me to re-shelve. I wasn’t upset, because I enjoyed shelving them, but I was curious as to why they preferred to do nothing rather than do something, so I asked why they made that choice.

    The response: “I don’t get paid enough to work hard.”

    And chances are, they never will get paid enough. Work hard first. Get paid later.

    There is a quote that says “You can’t make a million dollars with a minimum wage work ethic.”

    If you are making $8 an hour you should work as if you are making $100. If you are making $100 an hour, you should work as if you are making $500. Always give more than is expected.

    There is something to be said about being the type of person that can be relied on. It feels good to go to bed at night exhausted from a hard day of work.

    Being bored is…well…boring.

    If you babysit and the kids are asleep, rather than sitting on the couch watching tv, why not take 20 minutes and wash the dishes in the sink? The parents will be shocked and you will be the first person they call the next time they need a babysitter.

    Fill up your time. Be of service.

    Work hard.

     

    Fill up your time. Be of service. Work hard. (tweet this)

     

     

     

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  • 5 Skills You Need to Have Before You Leave Home

    5 Skills You Need to Have Before You Leave Home

    There is an amazing world out there just waiting to be discovered. there are places to wander and adventures to be had.

    In a world where people love quotations and inspirational snippets, I don’t want you to forget that there are many practical skills that every woman needs to have when she sets out on her own.

    Learn these skills. Master them. Then go out and take on the world. (tweet this)

      1. Use good manners
        Life can be hard, but I believe in the goodness of humans.
        When someone does something for you, say thank you. When you need some help, say please. When someone is pushing a stroller, hold the door for them.  Give up your seat for someone who needs it more than you do. Be kind.
      2. Manage your finances well
        Pay your bills on time. Don’t over-extend your credit. Keep a good credit rating as it will allow you to buy a car or a house. Having a poor credit rating can be a huge detriment. Pay cash or use your debit card most of the time. Use credit for emergencies only and pay it off as quickly as possible. Know how much money you have. Don’t buy things that you can’t afford. Give to causes you believe in. Tip well. Avoid “collecting” things. Buy things that you love or that you need. Spend a little more on something that you love and will use regularly rather than “saving” money on something that you will never use. Don’t open a store credit card to save 10%.
      3. Take care of your health
        You will hear this a million times over the course of your life, but there truly is nothing more valuable than your health. You won’t actually understand this until your health falters. Once you regain your health, you will probably start to forget its value again. Get a physical every year. Walk regularly. Avoid sugars and carbs. Drink water. Get outside. Your body is a gift. Take care of it.
      4. Demand answers and know where to find them
        Don’t let other people make decisions for you. Seek out information on your own. Doctors went to medical school – question them anyway. Mechanics know a lot about cars – question them anyway. Teachers are showing you new things – question them anyway. I will give you advice – publicly – on a blog – question that advice. Be your own advocate. Listen to what other people have to say and respect their intelligence and deep knowledge, but do your own research so that you understand exactly what they are saying and ask appropriate questions.
      5. Persevere
        Life will knock you down.
        Again.
        And again.
        And again.
        Go ahead and be bummed for a little bit. Then pick yourself up and find a new solution. Don’t get stuck in the world of “poor me” or “life sucks” or “why does this always happen to me.”
        Why you?
        Why NOT you? Bad things happen to everyone…yes…even you. Pick yourself up and move on. When the door shuts, find a new door.

     

    What skills do you want your daughter to have before she leaves home?
    What skills did you make sure that she had?
    What skills have served you well as an adult?

     

    Image by Michael Ruiz

  • Give Generously of Your Time and Your Money

    Give Generously of Your Time and Your Money

    I want you to be successful in life. Not so that you can buy lots of stuff, but because the more you make, the more you can give.

    I just finished the book, “A Path Appears” by Nicholas D. Kristof and Sheryl Wudunn and it was nothing short of life-changing. Although the book sells for less than $20, it is quite possibly the most expensive book I’ve ever purchased because on every page, I was inspired to reach out to someone else…to help one more person.

    “Just because we can’t help everyone doesn’t mean that we should help no one.”

    — A Path Appears

    I was raised with the belief that we should help those who need it. It’s what makes us human and what makes our lives worth living.

    Yesterday you came home with a note from school that you are collecting food for local families that need it. We immediately opened our pantry and filled a bag with food. We did this to help people in our neighborhood today, but we also did it so that you will help people all over the world for the rest of your life.

    I want you to see that what we have been given, is meant to be shared. We share our food, our home, our love, our money, out time and our talents. Whatever we have been given, is to be shared with those who need it.

    I don’t want you to walk out into the world blindly and giving everything away without thought. As with everything in life, do your research. Be thorough. And then give where it feels right.

    “If you’re buying a large-screen television, you’ll probably conduct a bit of research to make sure you get your money’s worth. Do the same with your donations.”

    — A Path Appears

    If the mom in front of you at the grocery store is a couple dollars short to pay for food for her kids, help her out. Don’t make a big deal about it. Do it quietly and without fanfare.

    If a friend is driving through town and needs a place to stay, offer your couch.

    If you see a cause either domestically or globally that angers you, give them your time and expertise.

    Be kind.

    Be generous.

    Give what you have to give, no matter how small. You’d be surprised at how valuable a smile can be to someone who really needs it. (tweet this)

     

    Note: This post contains an Amazon affiliate link

    Image by Kris

  • Why I Cry On the Last Day of School

    Why I Cry On the Last Day of School

    You just had your last day of school. I didn’t mean to do it, but I cried.

    I watched you stand up in front of the parents and perform and I was proud, but I didn’t cry.

    I watched you read about what you want to be when you grow up, but I didn’t cry.

    I gave you a hug when you were done and told you how proud I am, and I still didn’t cry.

    Then I went to thank your teacher. And I lost it.

    I thanked her for teaching you so much. I thanked her for her patience. I thanked her for being an extension of our home. I thanked her for seeing the light that shines so brightly in you.

    And I cried.

    Education is such a gift. I remember the first time I heard you read…actually read. I swear I felt the earth move right below me.

    Reading changes everything.

    Once you can read, the entire world rolls up to you like a red carpet. You can learn and travel and discover anything you want to.

    Not everyone is blessed with the gift of education. We’ve talked about Malala and the fight that she is fighting so that girls can be educated.

    These are the thoughts that went through my head as I walked up to your teacher one last time and said…

    “Thank you.”

    Two words.

    They aren’t big enough to show my gratitude.

    They aren’t big enough for all that she does.

    They just aren’t big enough for the person who spends her day giving my child a better future.

    So, yes. I cried on the last day of school and I probably always will. As long as there is a teacher standing in the corner fanning the flames that make my daughter’s dreams shine a little brighter….I will cry.

     

    Image by Elizabeth Albert

  • I Can’t Do It…Yet

    I Can’t Do It…Yet

    It’s always ok to say “I can’t do it” as long as you take the extra two seconds to complete the sentence.

    I can’t do it, yet.

    Everything that you can do today, you couldn’t do 6 years ago. You couldn’t talk. You couldn’t chew. You couldn’t read. You couldn’t tell funny jokes. You couldn’t dance. You couldn’t do any of it….

    yet

    The “yet” is where the magic lives. The “yet” is where the possibility sits and where dreams come alive. The “yet” is where “who you are” transforms into “who you’ll become.”

    Don’t forget the yet.

    In our house, it’s not acceptable to say “I can’t do it.” It’s just not. Some things are hard. Some things are VERY hard. Some things may even be impossible. But we won’t know that until we work towards the yet.

    The amazing thing about yets is that you don’t know what all of them are…yet.

    Will you be good at playing guitar?

    Will you be a scientist?

    Will you make the most amazing cupcakes ever created?

    We don’t know. The answers are in the yet.

    The tricky thing about the yet is that it’s not a simple place to get to. You can’t just call Uber and and have them drive you to yet. You can’t plug “yet” into Google Maps. There is no shortcut to yet.

    But it’s out there. You just haven’t found it.

    yet

     

    Image by Lily Monster

  • There are Places to Save Money. Your Haircut is Not One of Those Places

    There are Places to Save Money. Your Haircut is Not One of Those Places

    I’ve had a bad haircut.

    Wait. Correction: I’ve had a really, really bad haircut.

    I drove home crying and was hyperventilating by the time I walked in the door. My hair was cut way to short. Why? I was trying to save money and I thought that a good haircut was a luxury and I’d take a chance on someone new.I definitely saved money. My hair was so short that I didn’t need to get it cut again for almost 9 months.

    It was embarrassing and humiliating. It made me self-conscious and I felt like I had to introduce myself by saying “Hi, I’m Sharon. I know..I have a bad haircut.”

    Cut coupons, drive a used car, cook at home…but DO NOT skimp on your haircut.