Advice for My Daughter

Category: Success

  • You are a Warrior

    You are a Warrior

    Life is exciting, colorful, and yes, difficult. Just when you think you’ve got everything under control, an obstacle will write itself into your perfectly planned story.

    Friends will let you down. Companies will let you go. Illness will creep its way under your skin and threaten you in ways you never knew possible.

    But you will rise to the occasion. Because you are a warrior.

    A warrior isn’t necessarily a winner. There will be times that your fight leaves you in a puddle of tears and shaking with exhaustion.

    And you will rise up to fight another day. Losing a fight doesn’t mean you’ve lost the war.

    Some battles you will win with ease. I hope these wins are plentiful and joyful. But your character will grow the most in the battles that you lose.

    Sometimes you’ll win. Sometimes you’ll learn. And there’s a lesson in every loss. Dig deep and find that lesson.

    What may surprise you is that some of the greatest challenges you’ll come across won’t be from friends, family, or colleagues. Your biggest adversary is often yourself.

    Inside your head, there is a whirlwind spinning around. It’s a tornado filled with ideas, to-do lists, and worries. And deep in the center of that storm is a voice that is telling you to give up. It tells you not to take the risk, not to make the change, not to follow the path that you want so desperately to follow.

    This voice is your greatest enemy and the hardest challenger to conquer. It will give you a million logical reasons why you should be safe, why you should not forge your own path, why you should stick with the crowd.

    Fighting this voice is what separates the passive participants from the ultimate warriors. Warriors don’t put on sneakers and walk down the paved path. They lace up their hiking boots, rip down barriers, and bring a first aid kit to patch themselves up along the way.

    Listen to your heart. Listen to the butterflies in your stomach. Listen to the tiny little voice that is whispering quietly to you to do something different. Stay with the struggle. Fight through the explosion of voices in your head that are telling you that you are too average, too inexperienced or too whatever else that you aren’t.

    Straighten your spine and rise up.

    Fight for the you that your five year old self wanted to grow up to be. She’s never stopped believing in you.

    You are a unique combination of experiences, skills and emotions. Don’t silence the whisper in your head. Turn down the volume of the detractors so that your true voice can be heard.

    Be difficult. Challenge norms. Question the status quo. Cause a ruckus. Have guts for miles.

    Be a warrior.

    Photo by Timothy Eberly on Unsplash

  • Superheroes Wear Yoga Pants

    Superheroes Wear Yoga Pants

    I’d like to tell you a story about a little girl.

    When my daughter was about two years old, we were at Target when she needed to use the restroom. She didn’t know which was the girl’s and which was the boy’s. So I looked at her and said the obvious thing, the women’s restroom is the one with the person wearing the superhero cape. And she has never known it any other way.

    Image: ItWasNeveraDress.com

    I know that all women are superheroes because I happen to have been raised by one. Now I’d like to present evidence that my mother was a superhero, and further that you are a superhero as well.

    Let’s start with the definition of a superhero:

    My mother was not in any comic books, but she definitely has extraordinary and magical powers and I would argue that you do too.

    Let’s take a look at some the powers of the most popular superheroes.

    Spiderman’s skills include web-slinging, wall-crawling, and spider sense.

    It shouldn’t come as any surprise that my mother was not slinging webs or crawling walls (well, she probably WAS crawling the walls at times, but not literally.) And spider sense? The ability to sense that something is wrong before anyone else can tell? I’m pretty sure that most moms have that!

    Superman has flight, super strength, and super speed, such as the ability to chase down a train.

    When my mom was 70 years old, she took a train to visit me in another state. As soon as she got off of the train, she realized that she had forgotten her purse. So she did what any 70 year old would do, she proceeded to chase down the train! That Amtrak came to a screeching halt, she walked on, casually picked up her purse, and received a round of applause from the passengers.

    Take that, Superman!

    While there is a little bit of Spiderman and Superman in each of us, Batman is the superhero that I really want to focus on.

    Why?

    Because Batman doesn’t actually have any super powers. He relies on genius, physical prowess, intimidation and indomitable will to rise to superhero status.

    And this is something that you can do as well. I know you can.

    Take a look around you. Superheroes are everywhere…and many of them are wearing yoga pants.

    It’s possible that you have great genius or physical prowess or intimidation by the mile, but the one thing that I know you have, is an indomitable will.

    I know, because I saw you at the checkout, calming a crying baby while opening up your rewards app, and never forgetting to say thank you to the lovely cashier.

    I know because I saw you do a killer presentation to the entire marketing team after being up all night with your baby with a 103 degree fever.

    I know because you told me that last night you were doing your taxes while cooking dinner, doing laundry, and checking in on homework. Then you put the kids to bed, ordered birthday gifts online, paid bills, and squeezed in a workout.

    I know you are a superhero, because you are unstoppable.

    You don’t even realize that you have powers that not everyone has.

    You may have the ability to listen compassionately where others walk away.

    You may have the ability to get four hours of work done in just one.

    You may have the gift of healing others bodies or minds.

    You may have the gift of patience.

    I don’t know what your gift is, but I do know that you have one. And you are amazing.

    And when we take your gifts, my gifts, and everyone else’s and we all work together, we can make huge change in our families, our communities, our country, and our planet.

    And we can do it all….in our yoga pants.

    The perfect t-shirt to celebrate your inner superhero. Consider it a modern-day cape.

    Available in 8 sizes and 8 colors, because every superhero is unique.

    Click here to shop.

    Photo by Randy Rooibaatjie on Unsplash

  • Climb the Steepest Mountain

    Climb the Steepest Mountain

    There are times in life when you are tired and you want to go for a leisurely walk. You want to relax and take in the scenery and just enjoy the moment.

    There are other times when you need to strive to be the very best you.

    During these times, I encourage you not to take the leisurely path, but to find the steepest mountain you can climb, and get moving.

    This image perfectly demonstrates that risks and reward associated with different paths.

    Path 1:

    Path one offers a good climb. You’ll put in work, get a little winded, and end up at a higher point than when you started. It will offer some challenges, but for the most part, it’s not going to be very difficult for you. You hike to the top, meeting quite a few people on the way who are doing the same, and you’ll get a nice view.

    Path 2:

    Path two is hard. It will require a lot of preparation, be littered with challenges and risks, and you’ll be going it alone. You’ll be going to a place that very few dare to go. But when you reach the top, you will have done things that few people have done and see things that few people have ever seen.

    I challenge you to take the second path at least a few times in your life.

    You can set your sights on a comfy desk job where you can make a decent living, get a few weeks of vacation, and work your way up the corporate ladder. When you reach the top of that ladder, the views will be pretty good, but you will ultimately feel less than exhilarated.

    Or you can walk a little further and climb up the bigger mountain. You aren’t prepared to climb it. You never will be. It’s just one of those mountains that you have to figure out as you go. There is no straight path up this mountain because nobody else has gone here before. The path is winding, but not aimless. You determine the path because nobody else has worn one down for you. You are on new ground.

    This mountain forces you to learn your own personal strengths and weaknesses. It forces you to be creative. It can also take a very, very long time to reach the top

    The steeper the incline, the higher the summit, and my goodness, the views are spectacular.

    Rather than focusing on a destination, focus on a path. The steeper the incline, the more challenging the learning curve, the more you get that nervous pit in your stomach, the more you KNOW that the view at the summit will be amazing.

    Your life doesn’t need to be filled with Matterhorn’s and Everest’s, but it also doesn’t need to be one long, boring stroll either. Mix it up. Strap in for a rough ride. Go to sleep exhausted because you learned so much. Forge your own path rather than always walking the well one, blindly following the footprints of someone else who has been here before.

    And when you get to the top, pull out your phone and snap a photo that nobody else has ever snapped.

    Commit to the struggle so you can bask in the sunshine at the top. The views up here are absolutely spectacular.

    Climb on.

    Photo by Dylan Siebelink on Unsplash

  • Take Your Eye Off the Ball

    Take Your Eye Off the Ball

    We all know that if you want to succeed in life, we need to stay focused and keep our eye on the ball. I’d like you to take a look at this short video to learn more about the importance of keeping your eye on the ball.

    After watching the video, you can see what happens if you are always keeping your eye on the ball.

    You can miss a lot.

    What if you learned that many of the greatest inventions and discoveries happened specifically because the inventor was looking somewhere other than at the ball? What if you knew that taking your eye off of the ball and just noticing your surroundings is one of the most important ways to come up with completely new ideas?

    In his book, “The Click Moment,” Frans Johansson shares several examples of how successful ideas were spawned when someone took their eye off the ball and allowed themselves the space to think about things differently:

    • In 1982, Howard Schultz, the Director of Marketing at Starbucks, visited Milan to attend a housewares show. He chose to walk from his hotel to the convention center and stopped in an espresso bar. After noticing many amazing espresso bars during his trip, he brought the idea back to his team in Seattle. This idea evolved into the Starbucks we know today.
    • Designer Diane Von Furstenburg created the iconic wrap dress after seeing Julie Nixon Eisenhower do a TV interview wearing one of her wrap tops with one of skirts. She had an a-ha moment that she should put the two together and the wrap dress was born.

    Ideas are formed when we notice new things and incorporate them into our current base of knowledge.

    When I watched the gorilla video, I was bound and determined to get an accurate count of the ball passes. I failed to see the gorilla at all.

    My daughter on the other hand, shouted, “Why is there a Yeti-thing in that video?” She didn’t get the count right, but she saw something that other people might miss.

    Sometimes, you need to take your eye off the ball so you can see the whole picture.

    One of my favorite books is “The Artist’s Way,” by Julia Cameron. In it, she provides some unique ideas for connecting with and unleashing your inner artist. One of my favorite assignments is to take yourself on an artist date every week.

    “An artist date is a block of time, perhaps two hours weekly, especially set aside and committed to nurturing your creative consciousness, your inner artist.”

    – Julia Cameron, The Artist’s Way

    If you are trying to develop yourself as an artist, this is a great activity, but if you just want to see new things, you can easily incorporate this into your daily errands. If you are making a Target run, rather than just picking up the brand of coffee you always get, take some time to scan some of the other brands, flavors or items on the shelf. If you are waiting in line at the DMV, take a look around at the different ways people dress or speak.

    Learning is all around us, if we just take the time to look.

    If you drive the same route to work every day, take a different way. Visit the library and flip through magazines that you’ve never heard of. If you like fashion magazines, try reading Psychology Today. If you like reading Psychology Today, try reading a fashion magazine.

    Pick up scraps from here and pieces from there. See if they combine into something new and unique.

    My eyes were opened after I saw that my daughter, who sometimes has trouble focusing on the task at hand, could spot a gorilla right in front of her face while I completely missed it because I was keeping my eye on the ball.

    When you need to focus…focus. But if you don’t, then open your eyes to the world around you and all of the wonderful, interesting things it can reveal. Be eternally curious about everything that exists outside of the ball.

    Photo by Francesca Runza on Unsplash

  • Spring Does Not Arrive Easily, But It Always Arrives

    Spring Does Not Arrive Easily, But It Always Arrives

    Two weeks ago, I was playing outside with my daughter in the 70 degree weather.

    Last week, we watched the snow fall.

    And today, we listened to birds and chased ladybugs.

    Spring does not arrive easily. It introduces itself in fits and spurts. It bravely says hello and then runs away to hide in the shadows for a bit longer.

    We all know that it will eventually arrive, but why does it have to be so fickle?

    We want to wake up on the first day of spring and dance around the yard like Snow White. We don’t want storm clouds or snow or bitter, bitter cold. But spring arrives on it’s own schedule. Many of the best things in life do.

    It arrives when it is ready to arrive…and even then, it still may regress.

    When my daughter asked me why spring was so crazy, I explained to her that in life, things often get better, then worse, then better, then worse. But eventually…one day…they stick.

    Spring will take off its shoes and get comfortable. It will settle in for a nice long stay. The birds will build their nests, just like they do every year. The dull grass will paint itself green. The rabbits will quickly say hello before running off to destroy your garden.

    It will happen. It will. But it could be bumpy for a little while, just like life.

    One day we feel like we have our finances under control, and then a big medical bill arrives.

    One day we feel like our marriage is so, so good, and then life happens and we start finding fault with everything from how the clothes are folded to the condition of the junk drawer.

    One day we work out for sixty minutes feel like Wonder Woman and the next we are looking at the clock before the warmup is even over.

    We progress. Then we regress.

    It’s the rhythm of life. Two steps forward. One step back.

    But spring will come. It always does. Go ahead and paint your toenails now. The storm is just about over.

    It’s time to celebrate the silly season.

     

    Photo by
    Allef Vinicius

  • Start with Yes

    Start with Yes

    Life can get boring very quickly if you let it. Routines wiggle their way into your life and before you know it, your daily groove has dug itself into a trench. And there you are. Stuck in the mud.

    Why Start with Yes?

    An easy way to start filling that trench is to start with yes.

    Starting with yes doesn’t mean committing to every opportunity that comes your way. That is a guaranteed recipe for overwhelm. Instead, I encourage you to START with yes. To ask yourself “what if?” Embrace the possibility of the yes.

    Then, find arguments to change that yes to a no.

    Reasons to Say No

    Typically, when presented with new ideas, our instinct is to resist it.

    “For individuals’ behavior to change, you’ve got to influence not only their environment but their hearts and minds. The problem is this: Often the heart and mind disagree. Fervently.” – Chip Heath and Dan Heath,  Switch: How to Change Things When Change Is Hard

    Why go to a new vacation spot, when you’ve already found a spot that you love?

    Why try something completely different in your business when you already know what “works?”

    Why separate yourself from the crowd, when it’s easier to just fall in line?

    In his book, The Art of Non-Conformity, Chris Guillebeau put together a list of eleven ways to be remarkably average.

    1. Accept what people tell you at face value.
    2. Don’t question authority.
    3. Go to college because you’re supposed to, not because you want to learn something.
    4. Go overseas once or twice in your life, to somewhere safe like England.
    5. Don’t try to learn another language; everyone else will eventually learn English.
    6. Think about starting your own business, but never do it.
    7. Think about writing a book, but never do it.
    8. Get the largest mortgage you qualify for and spend 30 years paying for it.
    9. Sit at a desk 40 hours a week for an average of 10 hours of productive work.
    10. Don’t stand out or draw attention to yourself.
    11. Jump through hoops. Check off boxes.

    That’s what life looks like when you start with no.

    No, I can’t start my own business. It’s too risky.

    No, we can’t run our business in a radically different way than our competitors. We need to be like everyone else.

    No, I can’t create my own life. I need to follow the proven path to mediocrity.

    But What If…..

    What if you chose to just try? Nothing radical….just one small yes.

    You don’t have to follow through with it (yet), you just have to consider it.

    What if you commit to spending one hour a week to your art?

    What if you just try something that other businesses like yours aren’t doing?

    What if you start with yes?

    You are the person you are today because of the choices you made yesterday. If you want to create a new life for yourself, it’s impossible to get there by making the same choices every day.

    And the divot turns into a rut that turns into a swamp.

    Make “No” Present Its Case

    When life presents you with a new opportunity, the easiest thing in the world is to say no. It’s safe. It’s comfortable. You know this path like the back of your hand. You’ve got this.

    Next time, just give yes a fair shake. Start with yes and present arguments on why you should say no.

    Let’s pretend that someone has just proposed a business opportunity that sounds amazing.

    This is what it looks like to start with No:

    • I can’t.
    • I don’t have the time.
    • I’ve never done that before.
    • My life is good right now. I don’t want to risk anything.
    • I would have no idea what to do.
    • No, thanks.

    This is what it looks like to start with Yes:

    • I can do this.
    • If I wake up one hour earlier, I can easily dedicate 365 hours this year
    • I’ve never done that before, but it would be fun.
    • My life is good right now. I’d love to make it even better.
    • I need to start learning more so I can start off on the right foot.
    • Yes. Let’s do it!

    Starting with Yes, May Still End with No

    Starting with yes doesn’t actually mean yes. It means, yes…I’m going to give this reasonable thought. I’m going to dream first and rationalize later. I’m going to consider every opportunity before I toss it away.

    “We don’t tell ourselves, ‘I’m never going to write my symphony.’ Instead we say, “I am going to write my symphony; I’m just going to start tomorrow.’” – Steven Pressfield and Shawn Coyne, The War of Art

    You don’t have to write your symphony. But I encourage you to first consider what it would feel like to put in the work and then to accomplish that goal. You don’t have to say yes right away, but please don’t blurt out “no!”

    Start with yes.

     

    Image by:
    Annie Spratt

  • Be Passionately Curious

    Be Passionately Curious

    Every great discovery begins with one question:

    Why?

    One word. Three letters.

    It changes everything.

    For children, everything in the world is fresh, new and interesting. But as we grow up, we slowly begin to accept things as they are simply because that’s the way they’ve always been.

    And we stagnate. And get bored. And stop asking why.

    Four year old girls ask 398 questions a day, averaging one question every 1 minute and 56 seconds. Adults, on the other hand, ask an average of six questions a day. Imagine how much we could grow if we asked more questions.

    An inquisitive mind is what fuels both compassion and invention. You can ask why before passing judgement on someone’s behavior or you can ask why when you encounter a frustrating product. By asking this question, you are allowing your mind to view a situation differently.

    The more questions you ask, the more you can discover about your world:

    Why are people hungry, when the world has plenty of food?

    Why do cars run on gasoline?

    Why do we change the clocks twice a year?

    Why do we buy gifts for each other on Christmas?

    Why? Why? Why?

    Each question you ask will bring you closer to understanding, or even challenging, the world you live in. They will also bring you a deeper understanding of yourself.

    I encourage you to ask new questions every single day. Keep a commonplace book where you can jot down interesting questions or observations.  Find a little shelf in your mind to set all of your questions, and don’t let that shelf get dusty. Visit it regularly.

    Be curious. Fill your mind with wonder. Don’t settle for the status quo. Ask questions even if you are the only one who is. Challenge “the way things have always been done.”

    Question if things really make sense the way they are. Then ask yourself if you can change them.

    First ask why.

    Then…..ask how.

     

    Image by:
    Ratiu Bia

  • Do Something Small Today

    Do Something Small Today

    Imagine waking up in the morning and deciding that today is the day you will change the world…or change your life…or flip the script that you’ve been following.

    You can.

    You can start right now, but it might not look as impressive as waking up at 7:00am and by 10:00pm life has changed dramatically. That’s not how big change happens.

    Big change starts by waking up 30 minutes earlier to work on your passion project.

    Big change starts by choosing not to gossip anymore.

    Big change starts with small change.

    The best way to do something big tomorrow is to do something small today. Then do something small tomorrow. Then do something small the next day.

     

    The goal isn’t to be perfect. The goal is to be better today than you were yesterday.

    In her wonderful book, “The Gifts of Imperfection,” Brene Brown says, “Perfectionism is not self-improvement. Perfectionism is, at its core, about trying to earn approval and acceptance.”

    Don’t shoot for perfect. Shoot for better. Everyone can do better. Doing better every day can lead to extraordinary change.

    As an example, if I gave you the choice of accepting a check for $1 million dollars today or taking a penny on day one and I would double it every day, the better option is to take the penny and watch it double over and over. At the end of 30 days, you would have $5,368,709.12.

    Day 1: $.01

    Day 2: $.02

    Day 3: $.04

    Day 4: $.08

    Day 5: $.16

    Day 6: .32

    Day 7: $.64

    Day 8: $1.28

    Day 9: $2.56

    Day 10: $5.12

    Day 11: $10.24

    Day 12: $20.48

    Day 13: $40.96

    Day 14: $81.92

    Day 15: $163.84

    Day 16: $327.68

    Day 17: $655.36

    Day 18: $1,310.72

    Day 19: $2,621.44

    Day 20: $5,242.88

    Day 21: $10,485.76

    Day 22: $20,971.52

    Day 23: $41,943.04

    Day 24: $83,886.08

    Day 25: $167,772.16

    Day 26: $335,544.32

    Day 27: $671,088.64

    Day 28: $1,342,177.28

    Day 29: $2,684,354.56

    Day 30: $5,368,709.12

    That’s what happens when small change begins compounding. You may not be able to bench press 125 pounds on day one, but if you start low and increase the weight a little bit every day, you will get to the point where lifting 150 pounds will be easy for you.

    It’s not going to happen tomorrow, but the process of getting there can absolutely start the minute you do you first bench press.

    A book begins with a chapter. A chapter begins with a sentence. A sentence begins with a word.

    No book is ever written without that first word.

    “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.” —Aristotle

     

    Don’t set your sights on being something. Instead, set a goal to DO something. The being always comes after the doing.

    Read one chapter a day.

    Run one block a day.

    Eat one good meal a day.

    Drink one extra glass of water a day.

    Do one small thing today. Then do another tomorrow. Then do another the next day.

    Then watch your small changes turn into the big change you desire.

    Image by:

    Eric Ward

    Note: My website may contain affiliate marketing links, which means I may get paid commission on sales of those products or services I write about. My editorial content is not influenced by advertisers or affiliate partnerships. This disclosure is provided in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR § 255.5: Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

  • 8 Great Summer Reads for Kids – 2017

    8 Great Summer Reads for Kids – 2017

    One of the greatest gifts my mother gave me was a love of reading. When I was a kid, we didn’t have air conditioning, so we would spend a lot of time enjoying the air conditioning at our local library. I would walk in looking for relief and walk out with a bag filled with over 20 books.

    And I would devour them.

    When I heard my daughter read for the first time, my face lit up and I said to her, “the entire world just opened up to you. You can now learn about ANYTHING.” Teaching your child to love learning begins by finding books that they get excited about. I put together this list of books that we treasure in our home and that I hope will help your kids to make their summer (and the rest of their lives) a bit more magical.

    Harry Potter and The Sorcerer’s Stone  – J.K. Rowling

    If your child hasn’t been introduced to the Harry Potter series, summer is a great time to start. Many kids grow a lifelong interest in reading that begins by getting to know one young wizard. If you read a chapter a night, you will have magic in your home for the rest of the summer.

     

     

     

    Wonder – R.J. Palacio 

    “He’s just a kid. The weirdest-looking kid I’ve ever seen, yes. But just a kid.”

    What a beautiful story about the struggles that all kids go through. It’s a story of judgement and kindness, cruelty and friendship. It’s a story about every kid just wanting to be a kid.

    Kids are so frequently compared to each other. This book reminds us to accept every person exactly as they are and to understand that underneath every mask, beautiful or not, is a kid…just a kid

     

    Ada Twist, Scientist – Andrea Beaty

    If you are a fan of Rosie Revere, Engineer (which is one of my favorite kids books ever), then you will want to get the latest book in the series that encourages kids to grow their interest in STEM. In this book Ada Twist uses science to solve problems and learn about her world. I can’t recommend this series of books strongly enough. I adore them.

     

    Where the Sidewalk Ends – Shel Silverstein

    Is it possible that someone you’ve never met can change your life forever? In the case of Shel Silverstein, I would answer with a resounding yes. I was given a copy of Where the Sidewalk Ends when I was a kid and it was the spark that turned me into a writer. I would read and read and read all of his books. If your kids haven’t been introduced to him yet, I encourage you to give him a try.

     

     

    Hidden Figures, Young Readers Edition – Margot Lee Shetterly

    You and your kids may have seen Hidden Figures, the movie. If you did, you know how inspiring the movie is. If you want to keep the discussion going, this book is a great way to keep talking about the important impact that African-American women had on our space program.

     

     

    The Boxcar Children – Gertrude Chandler Warner

    Sometimes it’s great to curl up with a classic during the summer slowdown. The Boxcar Children books are a great way to build a love of reading. Your kids will be learning and growing without even knowing it as they flip through the pages of these wonderful stories.

     

     

    Escape from Mr. Lemoncello’s Library – Chris Grabenstein

    If your kids like puzzles or books or mysteries, this is a fun read. A group of kids are locked in a library and need to solve puzzles in order to win a contest. It’s a little like a modern day Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with all the fun elements that make kids want to read “just one more chapter.”

     

     

    The Magic Tree House – Mary Pope Osborne

    I’m going to end my list with the greatest selling children’s books of all time. We never get tired of climbing up into the magic tree house to see where we will travel next. There are tons of books in the series, so just pick one and go on a summer vacation without ever leaving your home. These books are treasures.

     

     

     

    Image credit:
    Mi PHAM

    Note: My website may contain affiliate marketing links, which means I may get paid commission on sales of those products or services I write about. My editorial content is not influenced by advertisers or affiliate partnerships. This disclosure is provided in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR § 255.5: Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

  • Quitters Sometimes Win. Winners Sometimes Quit.

    Quitters Sometimes Win. Winners Sometimes Quit.

    We’ve all heard the saying a million times that “Quitters never win and winners never quit.”

    It’s not true.

    Strategic quitting is the only way that you can achieve what really matters in your life.

    In her book, The Sweet Spot, Christine Carter writes,

    “Not all mountains are worth climbing all the way to the top, especially if the costs of doing so are great. Sometimes the greatest cost comes from climbing the mountain to the top, only to look longingly down at another path you’ll always wished you’d followed.”

    We can’t follow every path all the way to the top. We need to be selective.

    When I started college, my major was accounting. After one year, it became clear to me that I didn’t have a passion for it, so I quit my major and selected a new one that aligned with my need to be creative.

    When I started writing, I had four different blogs about different subjects. Maintaining them all was impossible and trying to do so was a prescription for failure across the board. So I quit most of them so I could focus intensely on one.

    I’ve quit jobs, friends, relationships, sports and organizations. I no longer wanted to climb those mountains.

    Quitting isn’t just about saying no to something. It’s about saying yes to something else.

    So let’s reframe quitting:

    I’ve quit jobs so I could say yes to work that aligned with my values.

    I’ve quit friends who didn’t bring joy to my life so that I could spend more time with the people who meant the most to me.

    I’ve quit relationships so I could respect myself.

    I’ve quit sports when they stopped being a source of fulfillment so I could focus harder on the activities I was passionate about.

    I’ve quit organizations when I was spread too thin, so I would have more time to dedicate to those of the highest importance.

    Once you realize that you are climbing the wrong mountain, it’s ok to stop. And honestly, the sooner you do, the sooner you can reverse your path and get climbing the mountain that really matters to you.

    We each have 24 hours in a day. That’s it. Use them wisely and quit when necessary.

    Stop reading books that aren’t compelling. Say goodbye to toxic relationships. Don’t finish everything on your plate if you are full. Stop taking dance classes when you discover that you enjoy acting more. Stop doing things just because “quitters never win.”

    Quit wisely and quit often because sometimes those that don’t quit are the ones who lose the most.

     

    Photo credit:
    Caroline Hernandez