Advice for My Daughter

Category: Health & Wellness

  • Don’t Forget to Recharge

    Don’t Forget to Recharge

    Yesterday, I was sitting outside doing some work on my laptop. I was working hard and being very productive.

    Then I got an alert.

    Your battery is running low. You might want to plug in your computer.

    Since I was working outside, I couldn’t plug in my computer and continue working. I had to plug it in and go find something else to do.

    And I quickly realized how much can be learned from that one small alert.

    We don’t have notifications in our heads that let us know when our own batteries are running low. We need to be in tune with our bodies and minds so that we know when we need rest. We need to create habits that keep us fully charged at all times.

    Are you getting 7+ hours of sleep a night?

    Are you remembering to eat healthy meals or snacks?

    Are you drinking enough water?

    Do you ever power down and sit outside for an hour?

    Are you all work and no play?

    We aren’t computers. We don’t go dark when we don’t properly refuel. We can keep going for quite a long time without recharging.

    We can.

    But we shouldn’t.

    Plug yourself into a good book. Charge yourself up with a cool drink on the front porch. Rewire your hardware by having a great conversation with a good friend. Use your vacation time.

    Don’t wait for everything to crash.

    Recharge.

    Photo by Hernan Sanchez on Unsplash via www.StillsByHernan.com

  • When It’s Time to Walk Away

    When It’s Time to Walk Away

    “I always get to where I’m going by walking away from where I’ve been.” – Winnie the Pooh

    Walking away can be so, so hard.

    Leaving friends who are your tribe.

    Leaving the home where your children were infants.

    Waving goodbye to family as you forge out on your own.

    I’ve done all of the above and none of it was easy.

    But walking away from where I’ve been, has gotten me to this moment. A moment where I am exactly who I am supposed to be.

    When to Walk Away

    When you are ready for change, but unbearably terrified of it, I encourage you to walk away.

    When you are staying in place for others when you really want to fly, I encourage you to walk away.

    When everyone around you is passionate about their work, but you are bored out of your mind, I encourage you to walk away.

    When the holes are round and you are square, I don’t encourage you to walk away. I urge you to run.

    Why Walk Away?

    Bonnie Ware is an Australian nurse who spent several years working with people in their last months of life. In her book, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, she shares the things that people most wish they could change about how they lived their lives.

    Do you know what number one was?

    “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”

    Please don’t arrive at the end of your journey wishing you had been true to yourself. Don’t climb to the top of the mountain only to stare off into the distance and wish you climbed a different mountain.

    Time is a Limited Resource

    If you live to be 80 years old, you have approximately 700,800 hours of living.

    About 234,000 of those are spent sleeping.

    What are you doing with the remaining 467,200 hours?

    Are you sitting in traffic while on your way to a job that you hate?

    Are you living in a cold climate when each year, you feel like you are dying a little bit more inside?

    Are you walking past that box filled with paints or yarn or cameras because someone told you that art is frivolous?

    Are you filing down a little bit of yourself each year until you don’t even know who you are anymore?

    Your 20 Year-Old Self is Mad at You

    Remember the dreams you had of traveling the world? Your 20 year-old self does.

    Remember when you said that you would never sell your soul to a corporation? Your 20 year-old self does.

    Remember when you laughed at all of the conformers in Conformville? Your 20 year-old self does.

    And she is mad at you for not believing in her.

    You sold her out for the house, the car, and the white picket fence, but she still has hope that you will remember her. She’s waiting patiently for her moment in the sunshine.

    It’s Not Too Late

    What will your next step be?

    Will you wake up tomorrow, hit snooze and get yourself through the day on a diet of stress and coffee? Or will you choose a new path…a path without regret?

    Bonnie Ware says that upon death, “most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.”

    Make better choices. Honor your dreams. Show your 20 year-old self that you are the hero that she dreamed of being. Evolve into the very best version of you.

    You can absolutely get to where you are going. You just have to be brave enough to walk away from where you’ve been.

    Now get walking….

    If you want to read the full book, you can get The Top Five Regrets of the Dying by clicking here.

    Oliver Sjöström

     

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  • The View from the Hospital Parking Lot

    The View from the Hospital Parking Lot

    Last weekend was a little rough for me, so I went for a drive to spend some time alone, listening to music and communing with nature. At the end of my drive, instead of turning left to head towards my house, I took a right to go towards the hospital.

    I parked by the front doors and just watched.

    I watched families walking in to visit their loved ones. I watched adult children walk out from visiting their mom or dad.

    Then I looked at the windows.

    I thought about the frustrations that made me jump into my car for an escape and I realized that I was on the outside of the hospital, looking in. They have no choice but to lie in bed all day watching television or staring at their phones or napping.

    I, however, have my health and a car to take for a drive on a beautiful day. There are no machines preventing me from living life to the fullest.

    So I said a quiet thank you and vowed not to take advantage of my gift of health for one day longer.

    I pulled out of the parking lot with a renewed outlook.

    In the one week since that visit, I have spent time at the botanic gardens, visited an historical village, took my dog on some new adventures, and visited the Clydesdales. I’ve had late night talks with my daughter and lived in the moment.

    So, I ask you…what did you do this week to really live life? Or are you more like the patients in the hospital, lying on the couch binge watching tv?

    I challenge you to get outside and take a bite out of your big, juicy life. Break free from your routines. Find some local events and try something new.

    Make new memories. They are free…and they are forever.

    If you just can’t find it in you, then take a drive to your local hospital and watch the people coming and going…then look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself:

    Am I really living?

    If the answer is no, back out of your parking spot and go live your life bigger.

     

    Photo by Eduard Militaru on Unsplash

     

  • Ask the Silence

    Ask the Silence

    “Nothing is more useful than silence.” – Menander

    I have learned that in times of confusion, I tend to ask everyone I know for their insight. What do YOU think I should do? What are YOUR thoughts on this? What would YOU do if you were me?

    I can throw down a lot of great questions, but I know, deep down, that I’m asking the wrong people.

    I need to be asking the silence.

    We tend to ask others the questions that we are too afraid to ask ourselves. If you just stop for a minute and listen to your gut, you will get most of the answers. You won’t necessarily get the answers you want, but you will get some answers.

    Another way to look at it is to flip a coin. If you have a big decision to make, flip a coin. In the seconds that the coin is in the air, your mind will tell you what you are hoping for. Follow that instinct.

    When I was a kid, I would ask my mom every year what she wanted for Mother’s Day. Every year it was the same answer: peace and quiet.

    As a kid, that sounded ridiculous. As an adult, I have learned the importance of quiet.

    I get it now.

    Silence can be huge. It can be scary. It can be peaceful. It can be lonely. It can be deafening.

    And it can be life changing.

    When you find yourself being overwhelmed by noise and confusion, seek out silence. Find 10 minutes, 30 minutes or an hour. Climb inside of it. Wrap it around you like a shawl. Get comfortable with it.

    Within the bigness of silence, you can listen to the smallness in your heart.

    Ask the silence. Then listen for the answers.

    Image by:
    W A T A R I

  • Never Stop Playing

    Never Stop Playing

    Over the past 5 1/2 years, I have listened to over 865 hours of podcasts. They help me to learn, grow and be inspired.

    Last week I was listening to The Art of Charm podcast where author Charlie Hoehn talked about how a stressful project led him to anxiety that took over his life and nothing helped him to improve.

    Until he discovered play.

    As kids, we are both encouraged and expected to play, but when we grow up, play is looked upon as a luxury for those who aren’t “busy.” We hear common responses like “must be nice,” or “I wish I could do that.”

    And we can. We all can do that. It’s vital to our health that we make time to play.

    I have a life filled with work, family, home and hobbies. I like to learn and try to squeeze learning and growth into every tiny crevice of my life.

    But I finally decided that I needed to stop. Yesterday, I chose to play.

    My daughter and I took the day off to hang out together with no goal or objective. We just wanted to spend the day enjoying each other’s company.

    We watched The Worst Witch and talked about how fun it would be to fly or to be invisible. We sang in the car…very, very loudly. We pulled over whenever we saw something interesting. We told jokes. We ate ice cream. We didn’t take any pictures and we didn’t post anything on Facebook. We were 100% present with each other and playing.

    Play looks different for everyone. It may be basketball or reading. It could be video games or performing at an open mic night. Play is anything that you do simply for the sake of enjoyment.

    Your best ideas never happen while sitting at your desk trying to come up with an incredible idea. They happen when your brain gets a break. That’s because your brain needs rest in order to rewire itself. It’s during these rest periods that your brain is able to connect disparate ideas to create new connections and new ideas.

    Play isn’t a luxury or a “might be nice.” It’s vital to a healthy brain and body.

    It’s not always possible to add play to each day, but you should find some time in your week to do something just because you enjoy it.

    Have a water gun fight.

    Go for a bike ride.

    Draw.

    Write.

    Bake.

    Play video games.

    Hit a ball against the garage.

    Go outside and drop Mentos into a bottle of Coke.

    Take a spontaneous road trip.

    Lay in the grass and look at the clouds.

    Paint rocks.

    Swing on a swing.

    Pull out a board game.

    Do something fun.

    Play.

    Photo by London Scout on Unsplash

  • What it Means to Love

    What it Means to Love

    Love.

    It’s a word that is used in a number of ways.

    I love ice cream.

    I love grandma.

    Same word. Very different meanings.

    There are many things and people that you will come to love throughout your lifetime. Some you will love simply, like the feel of warm breeze coming off the ocean. Others will be so deep that your breath will catch when thinking about them, like the love of your child. Most types of love fall somewhere in the middle.

    There is one type of love that isn’t talked about much, but I believe it is one of the most important: loving yourself.

    Loving yourself shouldn’t be confused with being selfish. They don’t mean the same thing. Selfishness is the lack of consideration for others. Selfishness means being overly or excessively concerned with ones self.

    When you are selfish, you put your own concerns above those of others.

    When you are loving to yourself, you put your own concerns on par with those of others.

    I want you to love yourself as much as you love anyone. Not less. Not more.

    Take care of yourself just as fiercely as you would take care of a parent, child or family member. People will come in and out of your life and you will love many of them. But always remember that there is one person who will always be with you.

    Yourself.

    Be kind, not critical.

    Be forgiving, not cruel.

    Be patient, not demanding.

    Be a nurse, a friend, a counselor, a coach, and a defender to yourself. Only say to yourself those things that you would say to your best friend.

    Because you are.

    Life can be hard, but it can be amazing too.

    Cry with yourself.

    Laugh with yourself.

    Dance with yourself.

    Praise yourself.

    Be the best friend that you’ve ever had…and you’ll have a best friend forever.

     

     

  • Expand Your Greatness Outward

    Expand Your Greatness Outward

    The term “ego” is often used when referring to someone who is self-centered or self-focused. There is, however, a different way of looking at it.

    The ego represents the self and how you distinguish yourself from other people. All of us are distinct and all of us have unique talents. I prefer to think of ego as “Expanding Greatness Outward.”

    Your talents are a gift. Don’t hide them. Don’t minimize them.

    Celebrate the abilities that you have been given by sharing them with others.

    Teach.

    If you write, write regularly so others can learn from you.

    If you are joyful, pick other people up when they are sad or lonely.

    If you are good at finances, help those who aren’t.

    If you know something that someone else doesn’t, tell them. Don’t squander your knowledge.

    And don’t ever, ever, ever hide your abilities.

    Discover what makes you unique and sprinkle a little bit of it everywhere you go. Honor your talents by sharing them with others.

    Expand your greatness outward.

  • Be Unmistakable

    Be Unmistakable

    Being unmistakable isn’t the same as being flashy or extroverted or the life of the party. It means to be one hundred percent you.

    Every. Single. Time.

    We are each created with our own blueprint and, yes, there is only one blueprint of you. There may be some imitations. Some people could attempt to copy and paste. There is, however, just one original.

    When you are your true self (flaws and all), you cannot be mistaken for anyone else.

    Be unmistakableBe creative.
    Be silly.
    Be clumsy.
    Be affectionate.
    Be very, very talkative.
    Be great at art.
    Be not as great at sports.
    Be giving.
    Be curious.
    Be disorganized.
    Be a good friend.
    Be besties with Grandma.
    Be a rock collector.
    Be a cheetah.
    Be friendly.
    Be a night owl.
    Be a risk taker.
    Be kind.
    Be passionate about what you love.
    Be ridiculous.
    Be you.

    Be unmistakable.

     

    Image by Niccolò Caranti

     

  • Advice [From] My Daughter | 01

    Advice [From] My Daughter | 01

    I asked my daughter what I should write about. She offered this piece of advice:

     

                       When you grow up, you should be a wonderful woman.

     

    Simple? Yes.

    Easy? Not always.

    I’ve always said that I would one day like to be a wise old woman. I want to be that sweet old lady that always offers the exact right words at the exact right moment.

    Scratch that.

    I don’t think I’m going for sweet. I’d prefer to be the hip old lady with wise words for every troubled young person that comes my way.

    That’s what I’d like to be.

    But in the meantime, I think my daughter set a great goal for all girls: to become a wonderful woman.

    The great thing about being a wonderful woman is that there are many ways to be one.

    You can be kind.

    Or hard working.

    Or smart.

    Or inspirational.

    Or friendly.

    Or a million other things.

    What do YOU think makes for a wonderful woman? Do you know a wonderful woman who would like to share her advice? Let me know in the comments.

     

     

  • A Letter To My Daughter As An Old Woman

    A Letter To My Daughter As An Old Woman

    I had a thought yesterday that made me very sad.

    I’ll never know you as an old woman.

    My job as a mother is not to teach you to be an amazing kid, but to teach you to be an extraordinary adult. I want to guide you so that when you are an old woman, you will look back on your life and feel that it was well lived.

    These are the things I wish for you when you become an old woman:

    When your hair turns silver and your skin turns a bit sallow, I hope that your eyes shine as brightly as they do today.(tweet this)

    I hope your happy memories outweigh your worries.

    I hope you dance…even if it’s slowly.

    I hope the world is good and that kind people surround you.

    I hope you have a companion, be it a partner, a child or a friend.

    I hope the mistakes you’ve made in life have been long forgotten and the bright spots sparkle.

    I hope you found a unicorn.

    I hope you celebrated every birthday with those that you love.

    I hope you travelled and laughed and sang at the top of your lungs.

    I hope you did work that you loved, that you helped people and that you prayed daily.

    I hope you aren’t in too much pain.

    I hope you let your kids stay up late so that you could snuggle under the covers and tell each other secrets. I hope you have grandchildren and that they talk…constantly.

    As the years pass, my greatest wish is that I taught you well. That you were able to fight when you needed to and give in when you wanted to. That you helped others and were kind to yourself.

    I hope you shine.

    I know you’ll shine.

    And I hope. I really, really hope….that I taught you well.

     

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    Image by Tim Hamilton