Advice for My Daughter

Category: Being a Girl

  • You are a Warrior

    You are a Warrior

    Life is exciting, colorful, and yes, difficult. Just when you think you’ve got everything under control, an obstacle will write itself into your perfectly planned story.

    Friends will let you down. Companies will let you go. Illness will creep its way under your skin and threaten you in ways you never knew possible.

    But you will rise to the occasion. Because you are a warrior.

    A warrior isn’t necessarily a winner. There will be times that your fight leaves you in a puddle of tears and shaking with exhaustion.

    And you will rise up to fight another day. Losing a fight doesn’t mean you’ve lost the war.

    Some battles you will win with ease. I hope these wins are plentiful and joyful. But your character will grow the most in the battles that you lose.

    Sometimes you’ll win. Sometimes you’ll learn. And there’s a lesson in every loss. Dig deep and find that lesson.

    What may surprise you is that some of the greatest challenges you’ll come across won’t be from friends, family, or colleagues. Your biggest adversary is often yourself.

    Inside your head, there is a whirlwind spinning around. It’s a tornado filled with ideas, to-do lists, and worries. And deep in the center of that storm is a voice that is telling you to give up. It tells you not to take the risk, not to make the change, not to follow the path that you want so desperately to follow.

    This voice is your greatest enemy and the hardest challenger to conquer. It will give you a million logical reasons why you should be safe, why you should not forge your own path, why you should stick with the crowd.

    Fighting this voice is what separates the passive participants from the ultimate warriors. Warriors don’t put on sneakers and walk down the paved path. They lace up their hiking boots, rip down barriers, and bring a first aid kit to patch themselves up along the way.

    Listen to your heart. Listen to the butterflies in your stomach. Listen to the tiny little voice that is whispering quietly to you to do something different. Stay with the struggle. Fight through the explosion of voices in your head that are telling you that you are too average, too inexperienced or too whatever else that you aren’t.

    Straighten your spine and rise up.

    Fight for the you that your five year old self wanted to grow up to be. She’s never stopped believing in you.

    You are a unique combination of experiences, skills and emotions. Don’t silence the whisper in your head. Turn down the volume of the detractors so that your true voice can be heard.

    Be difficult. Challenge norms. Question the status quo. Cause a ruckus. Have guts for miles.

    Be a warrior.

    Photo by Timothy Eberly on Unsplash

  • Superheroes Wear Yoga Pants

    Superheroes Wear Yoga Pants

    I’d like to tell you a story about a little girl.

    When my daughter was about two years old, we were at Target when she needed to use the restroom. She didn’t know which was the girl’s and which was the boy’s. So I looked at her and said the obvious thing, the women’s restroom is the one with the person wearing the superhero cape. And she has never known it any other way.

    Image: ItWasNeveraDress.com

    I know that all women are superheroes because I happen to have been raised by one. Now I’d like to present evidence that my mother was a superhero, and further that you are a superhero as well.

    Let’s start with the definition of a superhero:

    My mother was not in any comic books, but she definitely has extraordinary and magical powers and I would argue that you do too.

    Let’s take a look at some the powers of the most popular superheroes.

    Spiderman’s skills include web-slinging, wall-crawling, and spider sense.

    It shouldn’t come as any surprise that my mother was not slinging webs or crawling walls (well, she probably WAS crawling the walls at times, but not literally.) And spider sense? The ability to sense that something is wrong before anyone else can tell? I’m pretty sure that most moms have that!

    Superman has flight, super strength, and super speed, such as the ability to chase down a train.

    When my mom was 70 years old, she took a train to visit me in another state. As soon as she got off of the train, she realized that she had forgotten her purse. So she did what any 70 year old would do, she proceeded to chase down the train! That Amtrak came to a screeching halt, she walked on, casually picked up her purse, and received a round of applause from the passengers.

    Take that, Superman!

    While there is a little bit of Spiderman and Superman in each of us, Batman is the superhero that I really want to focus on.

    Why?

    Because Batman doesn’t actually have any super powers. He relies on genius, physical prowess, intimidation and indomitable will to rise to superhero status.

    And this is something that you can do as well. I know you can.

    Take a look around you. Superheroes are everywhere…and many of them are wearing yoga pants.

    It’s possible that you have great genius or physical prowess or intimidation by the mile, but the one thing that I know you have, is an indomitable will.

    I know, because I saw you at the checkout, calming a crying baby while opening up your rewards app, and never forgetting to say thank you to the lovely cashier.

    I know because I saw you do a killer presentation to the entire marketing team after being up all night with your baby with a 103 degree fever.

    I know because you told me that last night you were doing your taxes while cooking dinner, doing laundry, and checking in on homework. Then you put the kids to bed, ordered birthday gifts online, paid bills, and squeezed in a workout.

    I know you are a superhero, because you are unstoppable.

    You don’t even realize that you have powers that not everyone has.

    You may have the ability to listen compassionately where others walk away.

    You may have the ability to get four hours of work done in just one.

    You may have the gift of healing others bodies or minds.

    You may have the gift of patience.

    I don’t know what your gift is, but I do know that you have one. And you are amazing.

    And when we take your gifts, my gifts, and everyone else’s and we all work together, we can make huge change in our families, our communities, our country, and our planet.

    And we can do it all….in our yoga pants.

    The perfect t-shirt to celebrate your inner superhero. Consider it a modern-day cape.

    Available in 8 sizes and 8 colors, because every superhero is unique.

    Click here to shop.

    Photo by Randy Rooibaatjie on Unsplash

  • Don’t Be Like Me. Be Like You.

    Don’t Be Like Me. Be Like You.

    The other day you said those eleven magical words that can absolutely make a mother melt:

    “When I grow up, I want to be just like you.”

    What more could a mother wish for than for her daughter to look up to her in such a way, that she dreams of one day being just like her?

    I believe there is an even better wish. I hope that when you grow up, you are just like YOU.

    Each of us was created with a unique combination of characteristics, gifts and passions. The mold is made….and broken. The recipe for “you” isn’t one that can be repeated.

    You have strengths that I don’t have and passions that are different than mine. And I’ve never, ever met anyone who is just like you.

    So be that.

    Be it 100%. Be you with all of your flaws and all of your uniqueness.

    Be you when it helps you fit in.

    Be you when it makes you stand out.

    Be you when the world is telling you to be them.

    Be you when you are telling yourself to be me.

    I won’t agree with all of your choices, I’m sure of that, but they are YOUR choices.

    My job as your mother is to give you guidance and values and then to send you off into the world and trust that I did my best.

    Your job is to share your special gifts with passion and conviction.

    It makes my heart happy to know that you look up to me and that I can be a guide for you in this, sometimes overwhelming, world. I’ll be your safety and your home. You can trust me 100% with every crazy idea you may come up with. I’ll stand alongside you when life gets messy and confusing.

    And I’ll watch you learn what it means to be you. To really, really be you.

    There is a catch though. It may take a while to figure out exactly who “you” is, and the journey can be full of mistakes and discomfort.

     

    You’ll choose the wrong friends, the wrong career, or the wrong attitude. You’ll try one thing on and decide if it suits you or not. This process doesn’t take years, it takes decades.

    But you’ll get there.

    You will find out who you really are and it will feel like slipping on a cozy pair of pajamas.

    And they will be YOUR pajamas. Not mine.

    And you will be spectacular.

    Because you will finally have discovered YOU.

  • Be Unmistakable

    Be Unmistakable

    Being unmistakable isn’t the same as being flashy or extroverted or the life of the party. It means to be one hundred percent you.

    Every. Single. Time.

    We are each created with our own blueprint and, yes, there is only one blueprint of you. There may be some imitations. Some people could attempt to copy and paste. There is, however, just one original.

    When you are your true self (flaws and all), you cannot be mistaken for anyone else.

    Be unmistakableBe creative.
    Be silly.
    Be clumsy.
    Be affectionate.
    Be very, very talkative.
    Be great at art.
    Be not as great at sports.
    Be giving.
    Be curious.
    Be disorganized.
    Be a good friend.
    Be besties with Grandma.
    Be a rock collector.
    Be a cheetah.
    Be friendly.
    Be a night owl.
    Be a risk taker.
    Be kind.
    Be passionate about what you love.
    Be ridiculous.
    Be you.

    Be unmistakable.

     

    Image by Niccolò Caranti

     

  • Advice [From] My Daughter | 01

    Advice [From] My Daughter | 01

    I asked my daughter what I should write about. She offered this piece of advice:

     

                       When you grow up, you should be a wonderful woman.

     

    Simple? Yes.

    Easy? Not always.

    I’ve always said that I would one day like to be a wise old woman. I want to be that sweet old lady that always offers the exact right words at the exact right moment.

    Scratch that.

    I don’t think I’m going for sweet. I’d prefer to be the hip old lady with wise words for every troubled young person that comes my way.

    That’s what I’d like to be.

    But in the meantime, I think my daughter set a great goal for all girls: to become a wonderful woman.

    The great thing about being a wonderful woman is that there are many ways to be one.

    You can be kind.

    Or hard working.

    Or smart.

    Or inspirational.

    Or friendly.

    Or a million other things.

    What do YOU think makes for a wonderful woman? Do you know a wonderful woman who would like to share her advice? Let me know in the comments.

     

     

  • You Are Pretty….Pretty Smart!

    You Are Pretty….Pretty Smart!

    I think my daughter is beautiful, just like every other mother does. But if you tell her that she’s pretty, she will finish your sentence for you. Every. Single. Time.

    “You’re pretty.”

    “Pretty smart!”

    “You’re pretty.”

    “Pretty brave!”

    “You’re pretty.”

    “Pretty awesome!”

    Each of us is given different physical attributes that we are proud of. We don’t choose to have fantastic hair, eyes or legs…we were just born that way….or we weren’t. It doesn’t define who we are and it doesn’t make us any more capable of being amazing.

    We can learn to smart…or brave…or awesome. These are all skills that are practiced and developed. They are the traits that define who we are.

    I’m pretty funny.

    I’m pretty creative.

    I’m pretty nice.

    This is the stuff that you find when you lift up the hood on the car. It’s not the beautiful coat of paint, but it’s the power behind the girl.

    It’s nice to be pretty, but my daughter would rather be something more. And I think that happens to be “pretty awesome!”

     

    Image by Steven Depolo

  • Girls are Not Tomboys – They are Girls

    Girls are Not Tomboys – They are Girls

    According to Wikipedia:

    A tomboy is a girl who exhibits characteristics or behaviors considered typical of a boy,  including wearing masculine clothing and engaging in games and activities that are physical in nature and are considered in many cultures to be “unfeminine” or the domain of boys.

    Just because there is a wikipedia entry, doesn’t mean we have to subscribe to it.

    Some girls climb trees.

    Some girls wear dresses.

    Some girls climb trees while wearing dresses. (tweet this)

    Don’t define people by how they play and don’t call girls boys (or boys, girls.)

    If you want to paint your nails and then jump in the mud, go for it.

    If you want to pull your hair in a ponytail and eat a cheeseburger, do it.

    If you want to collect bugs, talk to them, name them, and set them free, be my guest.

    Do all of these things and know that you are a girl. Don’t do any of them and know that you are a girl.

    Be yourself.

    Wear lipstick, play soccer, have friends that are girls, have friends that are boys, eat bacon…or salad, watch romantic comedies or action movies, wear pink or wear blue.

    None of it matters.

    You. Are. A. Girl.

    NOT…a tomboy.

    A girl.

    Seeing yourself in the books you read sets the groundwork for a mindset of being able to take on life’s biggest challenges. These books can show girls that they can set their own goals and do their own thing.

    [My website is free for you to enjoy. By clicking on the below links, I will receive a small commission that helps me to keep creating great content for you!]

    Girls Can Do Anything

    Author: Caryl Hart
    Illustrator: Ali Pye
    Suitable for Ages 3-6

    Do you want to climb a mountain? Drive a fire engine? Or maybe become the prime minister when you grow up? Well – the girls in this picture book know that they can do anything. And guess what: so can you! Join a gang of go-getting girls for whom the sky’s the limit, and marvel at the amazing things they do each day. From building houses to piloting space rockets, they’re ready to dream big. Are YOU?

     

     

     

    Rosie Revere, Engineer

    Author: Andrea Beaty                                            
    Illustrator: David Roberts
    Suitable for Ages 5-7

    Rosie Revere dreamed of becoming a great engineer. Where some people see rubbish, Rosie sees inspiration. Alone in her room at night, shy Rosie constructs great inventions from odds and ends. Hot dog dispensers, helium pants, python-repelling cheese hats: Rosie’s gizmos would astound—if she ever let anyone see them.

    Afraid of failure, she hides them away under her bed. Until a fateful visit from her great-great-aunt Rose (AKA Rosie the Riveter!), who shows her that the first flop isn’t something to fear—it’s something to celebrate. And you can only truly fail, if you quit.

     

     


     ABC What Can She Be?

    Author: Sugar Snap Studio, Jessie Ford

    Not even the sky is the limit with this fun approach to learning the alphabet. In this new title from Walter Foster Jr., ABC What Can She Be?encourages young girls by presenting a colourful variety of choices for their future careers.

    Talented illustrator Jessie Ford artfully pairs the letters of the alphabet with vibrant, eye-catching illustrations that paint an inspiring picture for budding trailblazers everywhere.

    ABC What Can She Be? explores 26 different career paths. Each page introduces a letter of the alphabet with bright artwork and highlights a career that is fun, challenging, and makes a big impact in its own way.

    A boldly illustrated, fun family read, ABC What Can She Be? is a great way for parents to introduce their small children to the bright futures before them.

     

    Dear Girl,

    Author: Amy Krouse Rosenthal & Paris Rosenthal
    Illustrator: Holly Hatam
    Suitable for Ages 4-8

    The #1 New York Times bestseller that Today show co-anchor Hoda Kotb calls “a beautiful, beautiful book.”

    The New York Times bestselling author of I Wish You More, Amy Krouse Rosenthal, and her daughter Paris Rosenthal collaborate to bring you the heartwarming and inspiring Dear Girl,

     

     

     

    This Little Trailblazer

    Author: Joan Holub
    Illustrator: Daniel Roode
    Suitable for Ages 3-5

    Learn all about influential women who changed history in this engaging and colorful board book perfect for trailblazers-in-training!

    Paving the way
    to a future that’s bright.
    Helping the world
    with their skills, smarts, and might. 

    Little trailblazers cause great big changes.

    In this follow up to This Little President and This Little Explorer, now even the youngest readers can learn all about great and empowering female trailblazers in history! Highlighting ten memorable women leaders who paved the way, parents and little ones alike will love this girl power primer full of fun, age-appropriate facts and bold illustrations.

     

     

     

     

    Trademarks:

    I’m not a tomboy. I’m a girl.™