Advice for My Daughter

Category: Appearance

  • Your Body is the Paintbrush, Not the Painting

    Your Body is the Paintbrush, Not the Painting

    I first heard this on Momastery and it really stuck with me.

    It’s easy to go through life focusing on all of the things that are “wrong” with your body and women’s magazines will certainly stand by your side and make you feel bad about yourself:

    Your legs are too short.

    Your butt is too big.

    Your boobs are too small.

    Your hair is too straight.

    Your feet are ugly.

    Your teeth are crooked.

    Your eyebrows are too light.

    Your arms are flabby.

    Your nails are chipped.

    And on. And on. And on.

    But what if we change the way we look at our bodies? What if we look at our bodies as the paintbrush that creates the masterpiece, rather than the painting itself?

    Think about all of the things you can accomplish with your imperfect body:

    You can dance.

    You can feed your child.

    You can bring a smile to a lonely stranger.

    You can build and write and run and paint and climb to the top of a mountain.

    You can smell lilacs and your grandmother’s perfume.

    You can hug a child and save a rescue dog.

    You can kiss scrapes and make them better.

    Your body can create joy in a million different ways and it doesn’t matter if your arms, butt, boobs, abs, teeth, hair, eyebrows or feet are “imperfect.”

    You are perfectly designed to create.

    YOU are a paintbrush. Create your masterpiece.

     

    Image by Mike Fox

  • If You Live Long Enough, Your Hair Begins to Sparkle

    If You Live Long Enough, Your Hair Begins to Sparkle

    A while back, I watched this video by 31 year old food blogger, Rachel Farnsworth, who was called an “old-hag” by a reader who thought she should color her gray hair. If you watch the video, you will learn that Rachel has an autoimmune disorder and is uncertain if she will live to see her 70th birthday. To her, every sign of aging is a reminder that she is still alive.

    Aging is a gift.

    Wrinkles are the results of a life filled with smiles and concern.

    Age spots can bring back memories of that time you forgot your sunscreen, but had a great time hanging out at the pool with your friends.

    The ache in your knee is a reminder of all the miles you’ve walked and all the adventures you’ve had.

    These are your battle scars.

    You’ve experienced health issues. And you survived.

    You’ve had your heart broken. And you survived.

    You’ve hit rock bottom and then learned that the bottom was even farther. And you survived.

    But as your skin gets less bouncy and your bones get a little creaky, your hair does something completely different.

    Your hair begins to…sparkle!

    It takes over a billion years to create a diamond, but it only takes a few decades for a human to begin to shine.

    Sure, you can cover it up, color it, or pull it back, but underneath it all, it’s still there.

    Nobody is guaranteed a long life and every sign of aging is a reminder that we are, in fact, still alive.

    We wrinkle. We spot. We creak.

    And we sparkle. Oh…do we sparkle!

    Photo credit:
    Lotte Meijer

  • There is No Perfect. Seriously. There Isn’t.

    There is No Perfect. Seriously. There Isn’t.

    One quick Google search and you can see that there is a bit of an obsession around being perfect.

    It’s a lofty goal.

    It’s also absurd.

    Because there is no perfect. And even if there was, it’s like choosing plastic utensils over antique silver.

    Perfection is an ideal, but it isn’t a reality. It’s much healthier to remove the word “perfect” entirely and replace it with powerful, obtainable goals.

    Instead of a perfect body, work towards a healthy body.

    Instead of a perfect job, find a challenging job where you can grow.

    Instead of seeking out perfect friends, find some super loyal ones.

    The Japanese tradition of wabi-sabi focuses on an acceptance of imperfection and finding beauty within that imperfection.

    Wabi-sabi is the wood floors in your living room with scratches on them from your much loved dog. It’s the wrinkles on your grandmother’s face from years of smiling. It’s the random flower sprouting in a field of weeds. It’s the scar on your leg from the surgery that saved your life.

    Stories are found in the imperfections. A glossy magazine will never hold a candle to a well-worn book. A new pair of jeans will never feel as good as the faded pair with the frayed hem.

    Perfection is a mirage. We tell ourselves that it exists, but it really doesn’t. And even if it did, it would be hugely overrated.

    Embrace your crooked smile, your almost perfect test score and your chipped windshield.

    Devour your slightly burnt omelette.

    Frame your “not even close to Monet” artwork.

    Throw on some sandals and let your crooked toes free.

    You are unique.

    You are one of a kind.

    And you are a million times better than perfect.

  • A Letter To My Daughter As An Old Woman

    A Letter To My Daughter As An Old Woman

    I had a thought yesterday that made me very sad.

    I’ll never know you as an old woman.

    My job as a mother is not to teach you to be an amazing kid, but to teach you to be an extraordinary adult. I want to guide you so that when you are an old woman, you will look back on your life and feel that it was well lived.

    These are the things I wish for you when you become an old woman:

    When your hair turns silver and your skin turns a bit sallow, I hope that your eyes shine as brightly as they do today.(tweet this)

    I hope your happy memories outweigh your worries.

    I hope you dance…even if it’s slowly.

    I hope the world is good and that kind people surround you.

    I hope you have a companion, be it a partner, a child or a friend.

    I hope the mistakes you’ve made in life have been long forgotten and the bright spots sparkle.

    I hope you found a unicorn.

    I hope you celebrated every birthday with those that you love.

    I hope you travelled and laughed and sang at the top of your lungs.

    I hope you did work that you loved, that you helped people and that you prayed daily.

    I hope you aren’t in too much pain.

    I hope you let your kids stay up late so that you could snuggle under the covers and tell each other secrets. I hope you have grandchildren and that they talk…constantly.

    As the years pass, my greatest wish is that I taught you well. That you were able to fight when you needed to and give in when you wanted to. That you helped others and were kind to yourself.

    I hope you shine.

    I know you’ll shine.

    And I hope. I really, really hope….that I taught you well.

     

    Like this? Click here to purchase one to hang in your home.

    A Letter Top Image

     

     

     

     

     

     

    Image by Tim Hamilton

  • You Are Pretty….Pretty Smart!

    You Are Pretty….Pretty Smart!

    I think my daughter is beautiful, just like every other mother does. But if you tell her that she’s pretty, she will finish your sentence for you. Every. Single. Time.

    “You’re pretty.”

    “Pretty smart!”

    “You’re pretty.”

    “Pretty brave!”

    “You’re pretty.”

    “Pretty awesome!”

    Each of us is given different physical attributes that we are proud of. We don’t choose to have fantastic hair, eyes or legs…we were just born that way….or we weren’t. It doesn’t define who we are and it doesn’t make us any more capable of being amazing.

    We can learn to smart…or brave…or awesome. These are all skills that are practiced and developed. They are the traits that define who we are.

    I’m pretty funny.

    I’m pretty creative.

    I’m pretty nice.

    This is the stuff that you find when you lift up the hood on the car. It’s not the beautiful coat of paint, but it’s the power behind the girl.

    It’s nice to be pretty, but my daughter would rather be something more. And I think that happens to be “pretty awesome!”

     

    Image by Steven Depolo

  • Girls are Not Tomboys – They are Girls

    Girls are Not Tomboys – They are Girls

    According to Wikipedia:

    A tomboy is a girl who exhibits characteristics or behaviors considered typical of a boy,  including wearing masculine clothing and engaging in games and activities that are physical in nature and are considered in many cultures to be “unfeminine” or the domain of boys.

    Just because there is a wikipedia entry, doesn’t mean we have to subscribe to it.

    Some girls climb trees.

    Some girls wear dresses.

    Some girls climb trees while wearing dresses. (tweet this)

    Don’t define people by how they play and don’t call girls boys (or boys, girls.)

    If you want to paint your nails and then jump in the mud, go for it.

    If you want to pull your hair in a ponytail and eat a cheeseburger, do it.

    If you want to collect bugs, talk to them, name them, and set them free, be my guest.

    Do all of these things and know that you are a girl. Don’t do any of them and know that you are a girl.

    Be yourself.

    Wear lipstick, play soccer, have friends that are girls, have friends that are boys, eat bacon…or salad, watch romantic comedies or action movies, wear pink or wear blue.

    None of it matters.

    You. Are. A. Girl.

    NOT…a tomboy.

    A girl.

    Seeing yourself in the books you read sets the groundwork for a mindset of being able to take on life’s biggest challenges. These books can show girls that they can set their own goals and do their own thing.

    [My website is free for you to enjoy. By clicking on the below links, I will receive a small commission that helps me to keep creating great content for you!]

    Girls Can Do Anything

    Author: Caryl Hart
    Illustrator: Ali Pye
    Suitable for Ages 3-6

    Do you want to climb a mountain? Drive a fire engine? Or maybe become the prime minister when you grow up? Well – the girls in this picture book know that they can do anything. And guess what: so can you! Join a gang of go-getting girls for whom the sky’s the limit, and marvel at the amazing things they do each day. From building houses to piloting space rockets, they’re ready to dream big. Are YOU?

     

     

     

    Rosie Revere, Engineer

    Author: Andrea Beaty                                            
    Illustrator: David Roberts
    Suitable for Ages 5-7

    Rosie Revere dreamed of becoming a great engineer. Where some people see rubbish, Rosie sees inspiration. Alone in her room at night, shy Rosie constructs great inventions from odds and ends. Hot dog dispensers, helium pants, python-repelling cheese hats: Rosie’s gizmos would astound—if she ever let anyone see them.

    Afraid of failure, she hides them away under her bed. Until a fateful visit from her great-great-aunt Rose (AKA Rosie the Riveter!), who shows her that the first flop isn’t something to fear—it’s something to celebrate. And you can only truly fail, if you quit.

     

     


     ABC What Can She Be?

    Author: Sugar Snap Studio, Jessie Ford

    Not even the sky is the limit with this fun approach to learning the alphabet. In this new title from Walter Foster Jr., ABC What Can She Be?encourages young girls by presenting a colourful variety of choices for their future careers.

    Talented illustrator Jessie Ford artfully pairs the letters of the alphabet with vibrant, eye-catching illustrations that paint an inspiring picture for budding trailblazers everywhere.

    ABC What Can She Be? explores 26 different career paths. Each page introduces a letter of the alphabet with bright artwork and highlights a career that is fun, challenging, and makes a big impact in its own way.

    A boldly illustrated, fun family read, ABC What Can She Be? is a great way for parents to introduce their small children to the bright futures before them.

     

    Dear Girl,

    Author: Amy Krouse Rosenthal & Paris Rosenthal
    Illustrator: Holly Hatam
    Suitable for Ages 4-8

    The #1 New York Times bestseller that Today show co-anchor Hoda Kotb calls “a beautiful, beautiful book.”

    The New York Times bestselling author of I Wish You More, Amy Krouse Rosenthal, and her daughter Paris Rosenthal collaborate to bring you the heartwarming and inspiring Dear Girl,

     

     

     

    This Little Trailblazer

    Author: Joan Holub
    Illustrator: Daniel Roode
    Suitable for Ages 3-5

    Learn all about influential women who changed history in this engaging and colorful board book perfect for trailblazers-in-training!

    Paving the way
    to a future that’s bright.
    Helping the world
    with their skills, smarts, and might. 

    Little trailblazers cause great big changes.

    In this follow up to This Little President and This Little Explorer, now even the youngest readers can learn all about great and empowering female trailblazers in history! Highlighting ten memorable women leaders who paved the way, parents and little ones alike will love this girl power primer full of fun, age-appropriate facts and bold illustrations.

     

     

     

     

    Trademarks:

    I’m not a tomboy. I’m a girl.™

  • There are Places to Save Money. Your Haircut is Not One of Those Places

    There are Places to Save Money. Your Haircut is Not One of Those Places

    I’ve had a bad haircut.

    Wait. Correction: I’ve had a really, really bad haircut.

    I drove home crying and was hyperventilating by the time I walked in the door. My hair was cut way to short. Why? I was trying to save money and I thought that a good haircut was a luxury and I’d take a chance on someone new.I definitely saved money. My hair was so short that I didn’t need to get it cut again for almost 9 months.

    It was embarrassing and humiliating. It made me self-conscious and I felt like I had to introduce myself by saying “Hi, I’m Sharon. I know..I have a bad haircut.”

    Cut coupons, drive a used car, cook at home…but DO NOT skimp on your haircut.