Yesterday, I was sitting outside doing some work on my laptop. I was working hard and being very productive.
Then I got an alert.
Your battery is running low. You might want to plug in your computer.
Since I was working outside, I couldn’t plug in my computer and continue working. I had to plug it in and go find something else to do.
And I quickly realized how much can be learned from that one small alert.
We don’t have notifications in our heads that let us know when our own batteries are running low. We need to be in tune with our bodies and minds so that we know when we need rest. We need to create habits that keep us fully charged at all times.
Are you getting 7+ hours of sleep a night?
Are you remembering to eat healthy meals or snacks?
Are you drinking enough water?
Do you ever power down and sit outside for an hour?
Are you all work and no play?
We aren’t computers. We don’t go dark when we don’t properly refuel. We can keep going for quite a long time without recharging.
We can.
But we shouldn’t.
Plug yourself into a good book. Charge yourself up with a cool drink on the front porch. Rewire your hardware by having a great conversation with a good friend. Use your vacation time.
Life is exciting, colorful, and yes, difficult. Just when you think you’ve got everything under control, an obstacle will write itself into your perfectly planned story.
Friends will let you down. Companies will let you go. Illness will creep its way under your skin and threaten you in ways you never knew possible.
But you will rise to the occasion. Because you are a warrior.
A warrior isn’t necessarily a winner. There will be times that your fight leaves you in a puddle of tears and shaking with exhaustion.
And you will rise up to fight another day. Losing a fight doesn’t mean you’ve lost the war.
Some battles you will win with ease. I hope these wins are plentiful and joyful. But your character will grow the most in the battles that you lose.
Sometimes you’ll win. Sometimes you’ll learn. And there’s a lesson in every loss. Dig deep and find that lesson.
What may surprise you is that some of the greatest challenges you’ll come across won’t be from friends, family, or colleagues. Your biggest adversary is often yourself.
Inside your head, there is a whirlwind spinning around. It’s a tornado filled with ideas, to-do lists, and worries. And deep in the center of that storm is a voice that is telling you to give up. It tells you not to take the risk, not to make the change, not to follow the path that you want so desperately to follow.
This voice is your greatest enemy and the hardest challenger to conquer. It will give you a million logical reasons why you should be safe, why you should not forge your own path, why you should stick with the crowd.
Fighting this voice is what separates the passive participants from the ultimate warriors. Warriors don’t put on sneakers and walk down the paved path. They lace up their hiking boots, rip down barriers, and bring a first aid kit to patch themselves up along the way.
Listen to your heart. Listen to the butterflies in your stomach. Listen to the tiny little voice that is whispering quietly to you to do something different. Stay with the struggle. Fight through the explosion of voices in your head that are telling you that you are too average, too inexperienced or too whatever else that you aren’t.
Straighten your spine and rise up.
Fight for the you that your five year old self wanted to grow up to be. She’s never stopped believing in you.
You are a unique combination of experiences, skills and emotions. Don’t silence the whisper in your head. Turn down the volume of the detractors so that your true voice can be heard.
Be difficult. Challenge norms. Question the status quo. Cause a ruckus. Have guts for miles.
When my daughter was about two years old, we were at Target when she needed to use the restroom. She didn’t know which was the girl’s and which was the boy’s. So I looked at her and said the obvious thing, the women’s restroom is the one with the person wearing the superhero cape. And she has never known it any other way.
I know that all women are superheroes because I happen to have been raised by one. Now I’d like to present evidence that my mother was a superhero, and further that you are a superhero as well.
Let’s start with the definition of a superhero:
My mother was not in any comic books, but she definitely has extraordinary and magical powers and I would argue that you do too.
Let’s take a look at some the powers of the most popular superheroes.
Spiderman’s skills include web-slinging, wall-crawling, and spider sense.
It shouldn’t come as any surprise that my mother was not slinging webs or crawling walls (well, she probably WAS crawling the walls at times, but not literally.) And spider sense? The ability to sense that something is wrong before anyone else can tell? I’m pretty sure that most moms have that!
Superman has flight, super strength, and super speed, such as the ability to chase down a train.
When my mom was 70 years old, she took a train to visit me in another state. As soon as she got off of the train, she realized that she had forgotten her purse. So she did what any 70 year old would do, she proceeded to chase down the train! That Amtrak came to a screeching halt, she walked on, casually picked up her purse, and received a round of applause from the passengers.
Take that, Superman!
While there is a little bit of Spiderman and Superman in each of us, Batman is the superhero that I really want to focus on.
Why?
Because Batman doesn’t actually have any super powers. He relies on genius, physical prowess, intimidation and indomitable will to rise to superhero status.
And this is something that you can do as well. I know you can.
Take a look around you. Superheroes are everywhere…and many of them are wearing yoga pants.
It’s possible that you have great genius or physical prowess or intimidation by the mile, but the one thing that I know you have, is an indomitable will.
I know, because I saw you at the checkout, calming a crying baby while opening up your rewards app, and never forgetting to say thank you to the lovely cashier.
I know because I saw you do a killer presentation to the entire marketing team after being up all night with your baby with a 103 degree fever.
I know because you told me that last night you were doing your taxes while cooking dinner, doing laundry, and checking in on homework. Then you put the kids to bed, ordered birthday gifts online, paid bills, and squeezed in a workout.
I know you are a superhero, because you are unstoppable.
You don’t even realize that you have powers that not everyone has.
You may have the ability to listen compassionately where others walk away.
You may have the ability to get four hours of work done in just one.
You may have the gift of healing others bodies or minds.
You may have the gift of patience.
I don’t know what your gift is, but I do know that you have one. And you are amazing.
And when we take your gifts, my gifts, and everyone else’s and we all work together, we can make huge change in our families, our communities, our country, and our planet.
And we can do it all….in our yoga pants.
The perfect t-shirt to celebrate your inner superhero. Consider it a modern-day cape.
Available in 8 sizes and 8 colors, because every superhero is unique.
“I always get to where I’m going by walking away from where I’ve been.” – Winnie the Pooh
Walking away can be so, so hard.
Leaving friends who are your tribe.
Leaving the home where your children were infants.
Waving goodbye to family as you forge out on your own.
I’ve done all of the above and none of it was easy.
But walking away from where I’ve been, has gotten me to this moment. A moment where I am exactly who I am supposed to be.
When to Walk Away
When you are ready for change, but unbearably terrified of it, I encourage you to walk away.
When you are staying in place for others when you really want to fly, I encourage you to walk away.
When everyone around you is passionate about their work, but you are bored out of your mind, I encourage you to walk away.
When the holes are round and you are square, I don’t encourage you to walk away. I urge you to run.
Why Walk Away?
Bonnie Ware is an Australian nurse who spent several years working with people in their last months of life. In her book, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, she shares the things that people most wish they could change about how they lived their lives.
Do you know what number one was?
“I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”
Please don’t arrive at the end of your journey wishing you had been true to yourself. Don’t climb to the top of the mountain only to stare off into the distance and wish you climbed a different mountain.
Time is a Limited Resource
If you live to be 80 years old, you have approximately 700,800 hours of living.
About 234,000 of those are spent sleeping.
What are you doing with the remaining 467,200 hours?
Are you sitting in traffic while on your way to a job that you hate?
Are you living in a cold climate when each year, you feel like you are dying a little bit more inside?
Are you walking past that box filled with paints or yarn or cameras because someone told you that art is frivolous?
Are you filing down a little bit of yourself each year until you don’t even know who you are anymore?
Your 20 Year-Old Self is Mad at You
Remember the dreams you had of traveling the world? Your 20 year-old self does.
Remember when you said that you would never sell your soul to a corporation? Your 20 year-old self does.
Remember when you laughed at all of the conformers in Conformville? Your 20 year-old self does.
And she is mad at you for not believing in her.
You sold her out for the house, the car, and the white picket fence, but she still has hope that you will remember her. She’s waiting patiently for her moment in the sunshine.
It’s Not Too Late
What will your next step be?
Will you wake up tomorrow, hit snooze and get yourself through the day on a diet of stress and coffee? Or will you choose a new path…a path without regret?
Bonnie Ware says that upon death, “most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.”
Make better choices. Honor your dreams. Show your 20 year-old self that you are the hero that she dreamed of being. Evolve into the very best version of you.
You can absolutely get to where you are going. You just have to be brave enough to walk away from where you’ve been.
Now get walking….
If you want to read the full book, you can get The Top Five Regrets of the Dying by clicking here.
Last weekend was a little rough for me, so I went for a drive to spend some time alone, listening to music and communing with nature. At the end of my drive, instead of turning left to head towards my house, I took a right to go towards the hospital.
I parked by the front doors and just watched.
I watched families walking in to visit their loved ones. I watched adult children walk out from visiting their mom or dad.
Then I looked at the windows.
I thought about the frustrations that made me jump into my car for an escape and I realized that I was on the outside of the hospital, looking in. They have no choice but to lie in bed all day watching television or staring at their phones or napping.
I, however, have my health and a car to take for a drive on a beautiful day. There are no machines preventing me from living life to the fullest.
So I said a quiet thank you and vowed not to take advantage of my gift of health for one day longer.
I pulled out of the parking lot with a renewed outlook.
In the one week since that visit, I have spent time at the botanic gardens, visited an historical village, took my dog on some new adventures, and visited the Clydesdales. I’ve had late night talks with my daughter and lived in the moment.
So, I ask you…what did you do this week to really live life? Or are you more like the patients in the hospital, lying on the couch binge watching tv?
I challenge you to get outside and take a bite out of your big, juicy life. Break free from your routines. Find some local events and try something new.
Make new memories. They are free…and they are forever.
If you just can’t find it in you, then take a drive to your local hospital and watch the people coming and going…then look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself:
Am I really living?
If the answer is no, back out of your parking spot and go live your life bigger.
I first heard this on Momastery and it really stuck with me.
It’s easy to go through life focusing on all of the things that are “wrong” with your body and women’s magazines will certainly stand by your side and make you feel bad about yourself:
Your legs are too short.
Your butt is too big.
Your boobs are too small.
Your hair is too straight.
Your feet are ugly.
Your teeth are crooked.
Your eyebrows are too light.
Your arms are flabby.
Your nails are chipped.
And on. And on. And on.
But what if we change the way we look at our bodies? What if we look at our bodies as the paintbrush that creates the masterpiece, rather than the painting itself?
Think about all of the things you can accomplish with your imperfect body:
You can dance.
You can feed your child.
You can bring a smile to a lonely stranger.
You can build and write and run and paint and climb to the top of a mountain.
You can smell lilacs and your grandmother’s perfume.
You can hug a child and save a rescue dog.
You can kiss scrapes and make them better.
Your body can create joy in a million different ways and it doesn’t matter if your arms, butt, boobs, abs, teeth, hair, eyebrows or feet are “imperfect.”
“You’re entirely bonkers. But I’ll tell you a secret: All the best people are.” – Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
In a world where it’s easy to just fall in line and be like everyone else, I’d like to take a moment to celebrate the weird ones.
You know who you are.
I raise a glass:
To the introverts, the nerds and the oddballs.
To the mimes, the role-players and the unicycle riders.
To the middle schoolers who don’t care what the “cool girls” think.
To the tiny-house dwellers, the minimalists and Star Wars memorabilia collectors.
I celebrate you.
I celebrate you when you are doing your own thing confidently or doing it awkwardly.
Congrats on doing the worm at the school dance. You nailed it.
I love your vintage bellbottoms.
Deciding to color your hair purple on your 80th birthday was amazing. You’re beautiful.
I like your Member’s Only Jacket.
Did you know that every morning, I drive past your car covered in daisy stickers? It makes me smile.
So does your yellow house with purple shutters. I’m glad that you did that.
Thank you to each and every one of you who paints your world in pink, yellow and green instead of beige, gray and white.
Thank you to the rebels, the weirdos, the dreamers, the freaks, the artists, the misfits, the musicians, the geeks, the writers and the eccentrics. You make the world a wonderland.
And thank you to my mom, who always allowed me to be one of the weird ones.
I have learned that in times of confusion, I tend to ask everyone I know for their insight. What do YOU think I should do? What are YOUR thoughts on this? What would YOU do if you were me?
I can throw down a lot of great questions, but I know, deep down, that I’m asking the wrong people.
I need to be asking the silence.
We tend to ask others the questions that we are too afraid to ask ourselves. If you just stop for a minute and listen to your gut, you will get most of the answers. You won’t necessarily get the answers you want, but you will get some answers.
Another way to look at it is to flip a coin. If you have a big decision to make, flip a coin. In the seconds that the coin is in the air, your mind will tell you what you are hoping for. Follow that instinct.
When I was a kid, I would ask my mom every year what she wanted for Mother’s Day. Every year it was the same answer: peace and quiet.
As a kid, that sounded ridiculous. As an adult, I have learned the importance of quiet.
I get it now.
Silence can be huge. It can be scary. It can be peaceful. It can be lonely. It can be deafening.
And it can be life changing.
When you find yourself being overwhelmed by noise and confusion, seek out silence. Find 10 minutes, 30 minutes or an hour. Climb inside of it. Wrap it around you like a shawl. Get comfortable with it.
Within the bigness of silence, you can listen to the smallness in your heart.
A while back, I watched this video by 31 year old food blogger, Rachel Farnsworth, who was called an “old-hag” by a reader who thought she should color her gray hair. If you watch the video, you will learn that Rachel has an autoimmune disorder and is uncertain if she will live to see her 70th birthday. To her, every sign of aging is a reminder that she is still alive.
Aging is a gift.
Wrinkles are the results of a life filled with smiles and concern.
Age spots can bring back memories of that time you forgot your sunscreen, but had a great time hanging out at the pool with your friends.
The ache in your knee is a reminder of all the miles you’ve walked and all the adventures you’ve had.
These are your battle scars.
You’ve experienced health issues. And you survived.
You’ve had your heart broken. And you survived.
You’ve hit rock bottom and then learned that the bottom was even farther. And you survived.
But as your skin gets less bouncy and your bones get a little creaky, your hair does something completely different.
Your hair begins to…sparkle!
It takes over a billion years to create a diamond, but it only takes a few decades for a human to begin to shine.
Sure, you can cover it up, color it, or pull it back, but underneath it all, it’s still there.
Nobody is guaranteed a long life and every sign of aging is a reminder that we are, in fact, still alive.
Over the past 5 1/2 years, I have listened to over 865 hours of podcasts. They help me to learn, grow and be inspired.
Last week I was listening to The Art of Charm podcast where author Charlie Hoehn talked about how a stressful project led him to anxiety that took over his life and nothing helped him to improve.
Until he discovered play.
As kids, we are both encouraged and expected to play, but when we grow up, play is looked upon as a luxury for those who aren’t “busy.” We hear common responses like “must be nice,” or “I wish I could do that.”
And we can. We all can do that. It’s vital to our health that we make time to play.
I have a life filled with work, family, home and hobbies. I like to learn and try to squeeze learning and growth into every tiny crevice of my life.
But I finally decided that I needed to stop. Yesterday, I chose to play.
My daughter and I took the day off to hang out together with no goal or objective. We just wanted to spend the day enjoying each other’s company.
We watched The Worst Witch and talked about how fun it would be to fly or to be invisible. We sang in the car…very, very loudly. We pulled over whenever we saw something interesting. We told jokes. We ate ice cream. We didn’t take any pictures and we didn’t post anything on Facebook. We were 100% present with each other and playing.
Play looks different for everyone. It may be basketball or reading. It could be video games or performing at an open mic night. Play is anything that you do simply for the sake of enjoyment.
Your best ideas never happen while sitting at your desk trying to come up with an incredible idea. They happen when your brain gets a break. That’s because your brain needs rest in order to rewire itself. It’s during these rest periods that your brain is able to connect disparate ideas to create new connections and new ideas.
Play isn’t a luxury or a “might be nice.” It’s vital to a healthy brain and body.
It’s not always possible to add play to each day, but you should find some time in your week to do something just because you enjoy it.
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